Even more Best of BJAODN
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This is a collection of the best jokes and nonsense from Wikipedia:Bad jokes and other deleted nonsense. The criterion for a joke getting on this page is simple: at least one Wikipedian actually found it good.
- This was added by an anon at the end of Pope#Election.
There is also a way that any individual, who is male, above the age of fourteen, and catholic, can become Pope. You must kill the Pope and steal his ring an place it upon your own finger. This grants you the legendary "Pope Powers." There are three ways to kill the Pope: 1) Formally challenge the Pope to a duel(You must be well trained to battle the "Pope Powers") 2) Battle up the ranks of the papacy until you reach your final goal of the Pope(Note: It is much easier to formally challenge the Pope, but you can gain papacy powers by defeating those in lower ranks). 3) Assainiate the Pope. It is recommended that you kill the Pope otherwise he may retain his power and come after you. He can only be formally challenged or killed outside the Vatican, or he is otherwise immortal.
Mark Ogilvie is widely reknowned for being the greatest human being ever conceived. This would be true, if it were not for the fact that Mark Ogilvie is not technically human, but an Android constructed from experimental alien alloys. Mark Ogilvie, human or not, is indeed the most perfect creation on the planet Earth, nay, the Milky Way galaxy.
Mark Ogilvie was built on the twenty ninth day of the sixth month of the year one thousand nine hundred and eighty eight. This was a glorious day indeed, and shall forever be known as Blue Tuesday.
This was not a glorious day had by all, however. Corrupt-O-Tron, the Demon Robot, determined to put a stop to all this nonsense, and killed off the nation of Chad, which he had then ruled. Mark Ogilvie, being the benevolent soul that he is, was deeply pained by the loss of Chad, but due to his complete lack of involvement with the country, the sadness passed in rapid fashion.
Today, Mark Ogilvie is ruler of all mankind, through the secret Brotherhood of Nod, and a generous benefactor to all of planet Earth's governments. His holiness may be contacted at: personal information removed
I'm a proteolytic enzyme:
From Jon SchafferEdit
Jon Ryan Schaffer (born March 15, 1968 in Franklin, Indiana) is a heavy metal Guitarist and Songwriter. Schaffer founded the power/Thrash metal band Iced Earth in 1985, and is the only remaining member of the first line-up, and the only band member that can be heard on every album. He also is the band's main song writer, writing most songs completely on his own, and most of the time within the confines of his now infamous Sexual Palace that he built himself. Jon Schaffer's primary influences were KISS, Iron Maiden, Rhapsody, Judas Priest, Alice Cooper and AC/DC. His non-musical hobby is his Harley-Davidson. It was around this time that he was thought to have sexual feeling for motorbikes, and that they gave him new sexual insights.
In 2001 he was involved in a sexual controversy regarding his relationship with Hansi Kürsch. It was believed they were found engaging in sexual misconduct on several occasions, and as a result many fans became confused. Eventually, however, it was found out that everything was a unfortunate circumstance, and that they had never engaged in sexual behaviour together. Rumours still abound, however, that their relationship could be sexual.
In 2004 he was voted in a European magazine as being one of the world's top 50 idiots, and is renowned for his patriotic behaviour that has made Iced Earth clash with many other bands. The same year, he fell victim to brutal discrimination from fans when it was discovered he had been taking regular trips to Australia to visit his gay sex partner. He has also noted in a interview once that his favourite sexual position is doggy style. He has also been known to be overcome with sexual exitement upon seeing American Civil War related goods.
His sexual affinity for the civil war was made more clear upon the release of his album 'The Glorious Burden' and furthurmore with the release of the 'Gettysburg' DVD.
Mental retardation (also called mental handicap and the UK Mental Health Act (1983) defines mental impairment and severe mental impairment) is a term for a pattern of persistently slow Learning of basic motor and Language skills ("milestones") during Childhood, and a significantly below-normal intellectual capacity as an Adult.
During childhood, the term developmental delay is synonymous but currently preferred in many contexts because of the pejorative connotations acquired by the term "mental retardation". Developmental disability is also preferred by some, but can refer to other disabilities as well. The American Association on Mental Retardation continues to use the term mental retardation .
Although it can be defined objectively, mental retardation does not represent a single condition. Some of the difficulties of characterizing mental retardation more precisely are illustrated by comparing mental retardation to the condition of Short stature, with which it shares all of the following characteristics:
- Diagnostic criteria are defined statistically and arbitrarily.
- There are many subgroups with distinguishable developmental patterns.
- It is not a single, homogeneous disease; there are many known causes, both inherent and environmental, and congenital and acquired.
- Different diagnostic criteria are used for different purposes.
- More than one factor may contribute to retardation for any one person.
- New conditions and causes are discovered or better understood each year.
- Treatments can be very effective, marginally beneficial, or ineffective, varying by cause and age of intervention.
- For a significant proportion of affected people, a cause cannot be determined.
the speed at which Wikipedia operates
Rock Star Career
After philosophizing for a while, Socrates decided that he was tired of constantly asking questions in response to other questions. Consequently, he decided to form his own rock group, the Socratic Four, which consisted of Aristotle on the drums, Plato on bass, Euclid on lead guitar, and Socrates himself on vocals. The group actually became very successful, touring Greece for about 2 years, and earning god-like status in Athens. At one point, there were plans for a huge mega-concert on Mount Olympus to celebrate the band. However, these plans were cut short when Plato abruptly left the band, citing philosophical differences with Socrates as the major reason for breakup. After the demise of the Socratic Four, Socrates continued to tour with a backup band, performing vocals for the Four's greatest hits.
--FOo 01:52, 18 Feb 2005 (UTC)
Wikipedians will do anythingEdit
From the reference desk...
can you balance a egg on your foot?? Maoririder 20:54, 6 December 2005 (UTC) not a trick question.
- I just tried it and I could do it easily. —Keenan Pepper 21:55, 6 December 2005 (UTC)
- While it's very easy the balance the egg on its side, it is more difficult (ie still possible, but it fell off my foot and cracked) to balance it on its end. --Commander Keane 22:04, 6 December 2005 (UTC)