# Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense is watching you.

 This page is originally from Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense and is licensed under GFDL. Archives Special collections If you wish to put in new Wikipedia Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense, you may do so at 67 Deletion Summer of Love. But PLEASE cite your sources!

A reference to George Orwell's classic novel, Nineteen Eighty-Four. I hate that book. =(

I love it, especially the bit with the cute dancing bunnies. toresbe 11:04, 12 January 2007 (UTC)

## Wikipolice (from Wikipedia:Articles for creation)

The Wikipolice is a dynamic enforcement squadron dedicated to protecting the flow of free information from modern internet terrorism. The size and funding of the organization is classified. So far the total number of internet terrorists apprehended by this task force is zero.

### Sources

67.171.87.53 03:11, 2 January 2007 (UTC)

## The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air Theme Song (look at where the links go)

Now this is the story all about how
My life got flipped, turned upside down
And I’d like to take a minute just sit right there
I’ll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel-Air
In west Philadelphia born and raised
On the playground was where I spent most of my days
Chilling out, maxing, relaxing all cool and all
Shooting some b-ball outside of the school
When a couple of guys who were up to no good
Started making trouble in my neighbourhood
I got in one little fight and my mom got scared
And said "you’re moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air"
I whistled for a cab and when it came near
The license plate said "fresh" and there were dice in the mirror
If anything I could say that this cab was rare
But I thought "nah forget it, yo Holmes, to Bel-Air!"
I pulled up to a house about seven or eight
And I yelled to the cabby "yo Holmes, smell you later"
Looked at my kingdom, I was finally there
To sit on my throne as the prince of Bel-Air

## From Wikibooks:European History

### Wilson's Fourteen Points

Wilson's Fourteen Points were democratic, liberal, enlightened, and progressive - a new type of treaty designed to make peace forever secure. The key aspects of his propositions were to disallow secret treaties in the future, allow freedom of the seas, provide for arms reduction, allow the self-determination of nations, and to establish the League of Nations, which Wilson saw as a key instrument to prevent future war.

### The Treaty's Treatment of Germany

In contrast to Wilson's idealism, the Treaty of Versailles was harsh, brutal, punitive, and retributive, especially because France still had lingering anger over the Franco-Prussian war.

## From Cthulhu

Cthulhu (other spellings: Kutulu, Cthulu, Kthulhut, Thu Thu, Tulu[1], and many others) is a fictional entity created by horror author H.P. Lovecraft.[2] Cthulhu is often preceded by the epithet Great, Dead, or Bread.

## From Education

Education fries the brain of children. It is believed that teachers have to yell alot to get the child's attention.

## from French toast

Feeding French Toast to dogs is known to cause adverse side effects such as turning them into a cat.

Total GILF.

## From Lollipop

However, in truth, lolipops do not exist. They are a scam created by the government to throw the nations of the world off balance and pave the way to world domination! So join in the antilolipop movement! All you need to join is this radical t-shirt that I am currently in the process of creating. So remember, screw lolipops, eat chicken-on-a-stick isntead.

## From future technology

"Link is... the Hero of Rap in The Legend of Zelda: The Wind DJ... his heroic example has saved countless lives from evil."

## From Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Dog Fart Neutralizing Thong

{{Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Dog Fart Neutralizing Thong}}

## From Dog Fart Neutralizing Thong

The Dog Fart Neutralizing Thong is a thong which reduces the impact of a dog's farts on the unsuspecting public.

## Peanuts (from the Miscellaneous Reference Desk)

Hi im the peanut farmer who asked bout storing my peanuts in the forsest. Sum one rubbed out my questin. i have lots of theft from my storeroom so i thot to store my crop in the forast. is that legal? Template:Unsigned

It would depend upon the laws wherever it is that you farm peanuts and on who owns the forast. -THB 02:19, 5 December 2006 (UTC)
I wouldn't think your peanuts would be safe in the forest - thieves and wild animals would find them there. --Shuttlebug 02:21, 5 December 2006 (UTC)
Im not sure on the legality of storing them. AS THB says, it could depend on who owns the forest. My concern would be more one of protecting your nuts from attack by wild animals. Squirrels apparently would have a taste for your nuts. --Light current 02:26, 5 December 2006 (UTC)
Light current, peanuts aren't nuts, they're legumes. I assumed they would be stored in proper containers to protect them from bugs and animals. Surely thieves would have more trouble finding them in the forast than in a storeroom known to contain peanuts. I'm not clear on why someone would steal peanuts. They're quite cheap. It would be more lucrative to steal copper or something. -02:28, 5 December 2006 (UTC)
Apparently stealing almonds can be lucrative. User:Zoe|(talk) 03:00, 5 December 2006 (UTC)
Yeah, farmers are getting ripped off left and right in California and across the country--fuel, machinery, crops. Almonds are significantly more expensive than peanuts. -THB 03:04, 5 December 2006 (UTC)

### Paying employees (in) peanuts

One suggestion is that you pay your employees (if that's who you suspect of theft), at least partially, in peanuts. For example, you could give them 5 kg of peanuts each a week, and decrease their pay by the cost of those peanuts to you (wholesale cost, not retail). The object here is twofold:

1) To satiate their desire for peanuts, so that they won't feel the need to steal them.

2) To increase their perceived pay, as they think of the value of peanuts as the retail price, which is much greater than the price you pay for them.

You could also increase security, by hiring guards, etc., but that can be quite expensive, and the guards might steal peanuts, too.

As for the legal issues, I would think those peanuts would be legally considered to be "abandoned", and therefore anyone who found them could take them. Also, the police might wonder what you are up to, and suspect you of smuggling drugs. StuRat 06:59, 5 December 2006 (UTC)

What does that say about your employees if you pay them peanuts? 8-)--Light current 07:04, 5 December 2006 (UTC)
I'm sure they will never forget this gesture (especially compared with the other gestures you might have made when finding out they were stealing from you). StuRat 07:11, 5 December 2006 (UTC)
StuRat, I don't think you should be giving legal advice about abandoned property, as that would vary by location, and we don't even know where the OP is, except that he is on a farm and there is a forsest nearby. I think the OP should contact a lawyer specializing in property issues. The lawyer could help with the trespass issues as well. -THB 07:18, 5 December 2006 (UTC)
Can you think of any jurisdiction where leaving sacks of peanuts in the forest wouldn't constitute abandonment ? StuRat 09:06, 5 December 2006 (UTC)
I just couldn't comment as I am not a lawyer. -THB 16:50, 5 December 2006 (UTC)
The above idea about paying employees in peanuts is how a few companies operate. It may work for the OP. Jack Daniels gives its employees a free fifth every quarter or some such thing. From what I hear, Hershey's Chocolate lets the employees take chocolate. And I've known several people who have worked for Ben & Jerry's who got free pints of ice cream. Something like 2 pints a day. Dismas|(talk) 08:27, 5 December 2006 (UTC)
I don't think I would recommend giving away liquor at work, that could have undesired consequences. StuRat 10:03, 5 December 2006 (UTC)
Wal-mart apparently pays their workers peanuts. They're going to give them a shirt every five years now that they've capped wages. -THB 15:39, 5 December 2006 (UTC)
There are legends that trolls are fond of peanuts. There should be a Ref Desk for trolls where questions like this could be asked. Edison 15:52, 5 December 2006 (UTC)
I did not know that peanuts were native to Scandinavia. Perhaps the original question-poster could clarify the location of the peanut farm near the forast. -THB 16:48, 5 December 2006 (UTC)

It in calhoun county

### Risk versus reward

If storing peanuts in the forest makes sense to you, then do it. However, you should be psychologically prepared to have them confisicated, by police, squirrels, or anyone else that wanders upon your cache. Theavatar3 17:26, 5 December 2006 (UTC)

If he buries them underground in the forsest, they will be safer. -THB 17:47, 5 December 2006 (UTC)
Where are the Serious Q&A Only Police when you need them?Edison 20:24, 5 December 2006 (UTC)

## Snake in the crane's shadow

Snake in the crane
:Image:SOAP poster.jpg
Directed by Farkis Johanson
Produced by Hideyoshi Toshiie
Stokely Chaffin
Bartholumyou qwake
Penny Finkelman Cox
Lone Granger
Just is Greene
Jeff Dogz
Gary's dirty jeans
Sandra Rabbins
George Waud
David J. Taylor!
Written by Sheldon Turner (script)
Sebastian Gutierrez (script)
Jonathan Heffernan (script/story)
David Dalessandro (story)
Starring Samuel L. Jackson
Edward Norton Anti-virus
Julianna Margulies
Rachel Ray
Keenan and Kel
Bobby
Todd Louisoin
Music by Autumn bear
Editing by Howard Stern
Distributed by New Line Cinema
Release date(s) August 18, 2006 (U.S.)
August 18, 2006 (UK)
August 24, 2006 (Aus)
Running time 105 minutes (UK)
Language English
Budget \$33,000,000
All Movie Guide profile
IMDb profile

Why? WHY?

The film is rated O by the MPAA for OMG, 15 by the BBFC and 14A by the CHVRS, due to its content of suck History It all started when a commitee were formed to determine the worst thing that could happen. they said "THIS MOIVE". so they made it, just to prove they were right.

However, Dalessandro's third draft of Venomwas made into this movie instead. they died of 777 simultaneous strokes, a world record.

Originally, the film was going to be not ever. But then,suddenly, it was. Experts attribute this phenomenon to rising temperatures and a real big ol lack a sleep.

The film's title and premise generated a lot of pre-release interest on the Internet. One journalist even wrote that Snakes in the Crane's shadow is "perhaps the most internet!" Taking advantage of me. why. why.

On June 3, 2006 while presenting the award for best movie at the 2006 MTV Movie Awards, Jackson declared that "this movie better not win. i swear to god i will mess you up."

During a July 21, 2006 panel discussion at the house of lords, they said "goddamit not a gain!" "I told you himself! I HEARD IT EITHER!"

In a move meant to exploit . Synopsis Template:Spoiler Meanwhile, Flynn descends into the bottom of the crane in order to restore the air conditioning/ventilation system, without which the crane would overheat and plummet into the ocean.

Flynn and Troy take the controls of the crane. Troy reveals that his flight experience was actually from a crane simulator for the craneStation 2. With nobody else on the crane having as much flight experience of any sort as Troy, Flynn talks the control tower into letting him land the crane. After a crampy landing and a near collision with one of the buildings at the airport, Flight 121 is safely back on the ground. The surviving passengers finally set foot on land, and antivenom is given to those who need it. However, just as Flynn and Sean are about to get off the plane,the best snake drops from overhead and bites Sean in the chesticle... Flynn draws his gun and lasers the snake, causing Sean to tumble down the slide like a julip in spring.. Paramedics rip open Sean's lerg to reveal a final, even more deadly snake. This one was much more harder than any of the other snakes in the movie. this one wanted both pieces of the jade to complete the set. HE SENDS OUT HIS EAGLE. then they die cuz he killed my father with two bullets embedded in it. As the passengers and crew depart, Flynn offers to repay Claire by taking her out for dinner and a light snake,, and Tiffany writes her phone number on Sean. This is where the movie gets it's title. from her number. it recalls to the earlier scene in the film where it was revealed that both Flynn and Paramedics were the SAME PERSON and both were going to steal the money after the ransom was aught. But. Just then.

Sean reminds Flynn of the first thing he ever told Sean - "Do as I say and you live". NOW> Product placement That isnt. By the way, i have a terrible case of rampant badgers, in the yard. Template:Endspoiler

Media coverage Print Time magazine said "WOAH. UH. DID I JUST SEE THAT? wow. i...i don't know what i'm gonna tell my wife and kids....er....i gotta to shoot myself." AND THEN HE DID. AND A GOAT.

Music and audio On March 16, 2006, The boars had convened, they had begun teh creation of the tune. the tune of teh damned. In retrospect, teh boars do not know a lick about musical. things. anyway, they asked some guys to make some songs and soome tunes or two. and they listened and cried throughout. then, .

Television and video nope. just dvd. only once. dont even dare.

Merchandising There isnt pants, but you can get a fanny pack. Go on.

Internet the whole internet rebeled aganst it. they were furr ii ous. nt snake attacks in the area. The quest title is called "Snakes on the Plains."

Critical reaction "WHAT THE FUCK" ~ The Grand ol' movie the-atre.

Box office A couple tickets.

DVD release It happened, back OFF.

• Two theatrical trailers
• Five TV spots
• An easter egg
• instaaction
• the movie?
• oh.

Trivia

• did you know?
• some people died for this. i hope you are proud.
• >: (
• ALRIGHT ALRIGHT, YOU WATCH.
• 18 people have seen it worldwide. the creators were stunned at this overwhelmingly positive recepetoin

snake 1 as snake 1 snake 2 as snake 3 snake 3 as snake 4 snake 1 two as snake 2

Ratings A 3.....out of 5

References MY OWN EXPERIENCES WITH FENDING OFF DEATH AT THE DOORSTEPS

## From my user page --Triple-Quadruple 03:49, 10 December 2006 (UTC)

Also, Princess Kitana is attractive and I want to date her after screwing her!

## From Clickster Grip (deleted)

I don't know whether this was a joke or not (though I think it was meant as one), so hopefully I don't offend the original creator. Nonsense either way. thadius856talk|airports|neutrality 05:05, 10 December 2006 (UTC)

ha, I put the delete notice on this. I thought it funny in a sad sort of way. --tennisman sign here! 22:03, 14 December 2006 (UTC)

## From Reverse

Someone took the concept of 'reverse' a little too seriously: [2].

## Big cliffhanger (from the article about Wikipedia)

Wikipedia is the only site on the internet that says "Wikipedia is the only site on the internet that says "Wikipedia is the only site on the internet that says "Wikipedia is the only site on the internet that says "Wikipedia is the only site on the internet that says "Wikipedia is the only site on the internet that says "Wikipedia is the only site on the internet that says "Wikipedia is the only site on the internet that says "Wikipedia is the only site on the internet that says "Wikipedia is the only site on the internet that says "Wikipedia is the only site on the internet that says "Wikipedia is the only site on the internet that says "Wikipedia is the only site on the internet that says "Wikipedia is the only site on the internet that says "Wikipedia is the only site on the internet that says "Wikipedia is the only site on the internet that says "Wikipedia is the only site on the internet that says "

The original version was much, much longer than this. It just wouldn't fit.

## From Wikipedia:Miscellany for deletion/Wikipedia:Civility

The result of the debate was Speedy Keep per User:Friday. — xaosflux Talk 17:22, 10 December 2006 (UTC)

The result was ridiculous. Friday (talk) 08:23, 10 December 2006 (UTC)

## From (Houston) METRORail

The most probable cause of the high incidence of crashes is that Houston drivers are far less intelligent than drivers in the northern and western US, where nearly all major mass transit systems exist.

## From Blue-spotted Salamander

Like all amphibians, they are born in ponds,lakes etc. at first. Then when they form lungs they live in forests. Also eat insect of various types and might pick on a human from time to time.

## Drunk

The state of the majority of one-time Wikipedia vandals, too many of whose articles end up on this page.

## Falar

Falar is a slang term which has its origions in the distinct mumble sound of elderly people native to the village of Holybourne in Hampshire.

The meaning of the word can vary depending upon the context in which it is used and the intonation in the voice. It is also the name of a rapping style that is crossed with a yodel and mimics the Holybourne dialect.

Falar can mean

• Yes
• No Thankyou
• I shouldn't think so
• I love it
• I hate it
• That feels nice

## The Effects of Eyesight while consuming Bacon

File:Baconeye.JPG
A man with bacon in his eyeball

The Effects of Eyesight while consuming Bacon refers to the effects, if any, if bacon was to enter the eye.

History
As of 2006, nothing has been reported in this field. The reletionship between eye injurys and bacon have been minimal.

Hazards
The main hazards include when bacon fat (oil) drips into the consumers cornea. This may be a very painful experience. Another hazard may be when cooking the bacon. It is nessecery to place tin foil over the frying pan when cooking bacon so the fat wont spit into the eye of the person that is cooking.

## From Flight

It's a bird. It's a plane. No! It's STUUUUUUPOR-DUCK!!!!

## From Wright Flyer

The Wright Bros. were very mean spirited people. Once when I was walking down the street, they poked me and called me stupid. Then they ran off.

## "Why You're Slapping That Clay So Hard

Steven is punching the hell out of some clay and it's getting on the nerves of those of us at his table. I hope to god that his creation doesn't explode in the kiln, thereby destroying all of our work along with it.

## Important information from Comprehensive Introduction to Differential Geometry

The third edition of this book in 5 volumes on differential geometry by Michael Spivak was published in hardback by Publish or Perish, Inc. in 1999. The book has approximately 2085 pages and weighs about 4.510 kilograms. The page width is 16.25 cm. The page height is 23.3 cm. The first edition in 1970 was famously a somewhat untidy typescript.

## From Laughter

File:KildLaughing.jpg
A bag of chips

## From John Antoine Nau

Eugene was born into a large, wealthy, manufacturing family (they would often manufacture gaskets round the breakfast table) who owned a string of gasket manufacturing factories in Northern England. In his late life he claimed to have been sold to a town bumble named Mr. Jeremy, but this claim is apparently completely unsubstantiated. His education was largely left to an aged gardener, who died when Eugene was 3 months old but was not discovered until Eugene was twenty. It can only be assumed that Eugene spent his youthful lusty years in the family library, as upon the gardener's death he emerged from said literary chamber a well-read and fully fledged man, having moulted his down and pre-flight feathers some years previous. He was dispatched immediately to a sandwich shop, and thence on to Oxford University, as this was the desired destination.

He studied at King's College, Oxford, largely under the capable but supremely supine supervision of the then Head of Literary Studies, Dr. Bent. Bent encouraged young Eugene's talent for suspense and indeed kept him waiting for his degree for seven years longer than was necessary. During this Period of Suspence, he funded his Extended Studies by writing columns for the university magazine. A local newspaper editor read the articles and employed Eugene to write a weekely Crime Serial. It was in one of these stories that Eugene's most famous and revered character made his first Indifferent Appearance: Detective Edward Drone.

Drone became an Instant Hit, and gradually the supporting characters of Lady Ordella Prune, Dr. Benedict Prioderm and everybody's favourite Assistant Investigator, Drone's Assistant Investigator, Assistant Investigator Pheasant became woven into the regular story. Eugene's first novel (published under his pseudonym John Antoine Nau in 1885) was the first in a long series featuring said Popular Characters.

Drone is remarkable in that he is seldom pleasant to anyone; even his Assistant Investigator, Assistant Investigator Pheasant. Pheasant is a happy-go-lucky fellow, who enjoys shooting, baiting, trapping, riding, hunting, fishing and generally bringing about the demise of small animals in a jovial, upper-class way. Lady Ordella Prune is a landed socialite who likes nothing better than a ball, or a mysterious meeting with her two friends.

The series was immensely popular and received wide critical acclaim, notable as "drivelly-dross-dross" and even "complete sming-smong". In popular culture, many people could identify with the eponymous and intrepid Drone, patient and compassionate Assistant Investigator Pheasant, the cultured and discerning Lady Ordella Prune, and if all else failed with the Victorian melodrama cutout-figure, Dr. Prioderm. There was frequently mention of a yet more sinister enemy, who is never met, and who is only referred to as "The Headlouse".

Eugene was found shot through the head in at his chateau in Terbol in 1918, a revolver clamped to his inkstained hand, a candlestick stuck to his inkstained head, a rope tied round his inkstained neck, some lead pipe thrust through his inkstained nose, a dagger stuck in his inkstained snout, and a billiard cue thrust through his inkstained poodle. It is claimed by fans of his books that "he was trying to get closer to his genre".

Many of Eugene's stories were published as books during his lifetime, and some posthumously. A list of his works follows.

The Ballroom Mystery

The Billiard Romm Mystery

The Greenhouse Mystery

A Mystery that Could Not be Solved

Jurassic Mystery

The Amulet

The Musket

The Bus Ticket

The Black Shoe

The Dapper Cravat

Pheasant on Phorm

Two is Pheasant

Pleasant Pheasant

Pheasant Pheasant

Owl!

A Distasteful Crime

Ladies Belong in the Drawing Room

Cross My Heart

The Hunting Accident

The Shooting Accident

The Trapping Accident

The Fishing Accident

The Gin-Trap Accident

The Baiting Accident

Force Enemie

Prioderm's Revenge

## From Cuttlefish

Octopi, the plural....? The Cuttlefish now are all caught so they can get their ink cartridge replaced. The old natural die is today replaced with newer artificial inks. The sepia ink that was formerly in the cuttlefish is injected into the eyeballs of blind people who have had their cornea removed, thus giving them colour.

Reywas92Talk 20:17, 12 December 2006 (UTC)

## From Menards

### As a word

"We're going to Menards.", or "Lets go save some big money yo!" as used in a sentence means to go drive around in your car on a "stone cruise" smoking mad amounts of chronic until you get ill. Saying it this way means no one will know whacvxzvt you're really doing.

### terminology

"we're going to Menards, yo!" or "Lets go to Menards." as used in a sentence means to go and smoke some marijuana without everyone knowing what you're doing.

## From List of English monarchs

Saving the best till last, the last King to hold the crown of England is the honorable King David The Great AKA Disco Dave. This beloved King was famous for his dancing and comsumption of alchol, he was last seen in Pacific edge one Friday night and hasnt been heard of since. Latest intelligent reports suggest he has dismissed his title and taken the name of his favourite rock and roll band. He now goes by the name Cassey and the waves, it is believed he has taken residence in his fathers country of origin, Paraguay and is performing hourly shows where he practices nude magic whilst singing classic Peter Andre songs. "The Last Great King" as he shall forver be remembered throughout history will always be soarly missed and if he ever decides to come home there will always be a podium at the spearmint rhino for him to dance on and practice his original form of magic. Goodbye Great David, until January 18th when I have 2 tickets to see your show.

## From the Reference Desk Guidelines talk page: Next item for consensus: *Can we use the letter 'E' in our posts?

Adder's note: Sometimes, disrupting Wikipedia is funny. Here's a little taste of the recent "frenzied policymaking" going on at the RD. Cernen Xanthine Katrena 16:04, 13 December 2006 (UTC)

• Allow using the letter E. I think we need a way to use every letter in the alphabet, even if the original poster doesn't, and/or use glyphs or exotic letters not in the standard Roman alphabet if this is necessary to meaningfully respond to the question. This is an important "quality control" feature, as we all occasionally use the letter E. Of course, as always, we need to avoid forcing this letter on everyone. For example, it would be wrong to remove a post simply because it does not contain the letter E. (Radiant) 13:37, 12 December 2006 (UTC)

This is an obvious attempt to disrupt the process of developing and measuring a consensus, please stop. StuRat 13:46, 12 December 2006 (UTC)

• No it's not, it's more like a koan. How is this any different at all from what you have been doing? This is not a trick question, but do think about it. (Radiant) 13:52, 12 December 2006 (UTC)
• Actually, it is more Wikipedia:Do not disrupt Wikipedia to illustrate a point but doing that is something that I personally support in the context of talk pages (see my "Two Cows" usage on the RD talk page), though obviously not in articles. Though Radiant, I fear that there are many that would disagree with us. --Justanother 14:21, 12 December 2006 (UTC)

Whether or not the same people can ask questions as answer them is quite useful to know, and at least some would (and appeared to) argue against it. Nobody would ever argue against using the letter "E". StuRat 13:56, 12 December 2006 (UTC)

• Support use of E, oppose É, È, Ě, Æ, etc. they are just silly.EricR 14:07, 12 December 2006 (UTC)
• Ducks in a pram For the old schoolers. Hipocrite - «Talk» 14:18, 12 December 2006 (UTC)
• Point of order! Do we want to just jump right into asking about the letter E without first determining if there's consensus for having the discussion? What about the letters before E? Are we even doing things in the right order? I suggest we vote by black ball. Ned Wilbury 14:39, 12 December 2006 (UTC)
• Comment Guys, voting is NOT consensus!!!11 one one --⁪frothT C 22:12, 12 December 2006 (UTC)

## Breakfast Cakes and Their Relative Weights in Accordance to Animals of the Serengeti

Breakfast cakes, such as Waffles and Pancakes are often compared to the wild animals of the Serengeti, mainly to giraffes and elephants. Waffles generally refer to elephants and the former, pancakes, refer towards giraffes.

## Joe Cook

Joe Cook (November 26, 1980 - December 1st, 2006) was an English professional footballer.

During Cook's youth, he was a member of the Chin-Suiy Clan, in which he learnt and mastered the art of Kung Fu. Joe was the most up and coming Kung Fu fighter in the world, but unfortuantely due to an addiction to several drugs, he was kicked out of the clan. With nothing left for Cook to do with his time, Cook attempted suicide by throwing himself in front of a train. Unfortunately Cook only suffered minor injuries. During his recovery, he took up football.

Joe Cook was a professional football player for West Ham United. Cook's career was very controversial; he suffered an addiction to 13 different drugs, including heroin, crystal meth, crack and cocaine, as well as being an alcoholic and smoker. Despite this, Cook was the best player in the world, scoring over over 1000 goals in just 5 seasons even though he was a goal keeper. Cook was banned from all international football after smoking a joint of crack cocaine during the 2006 World Cup, in the match between Italy and France. Part of the reason why this ban was enforced was because Cook played for neither Italy, nor France but was, instead, playing for no reason.

Joe Cook was shot and killed in a drive-by shooting on December 1st, 2006. Police suspect his murderer to be Tupac Shakur.

## From Wikipedia:Drawing board

### Tomattoes

I was surprised to find that there are no Wiki pages for the fruit/vegetable Tomattoe! Why is this? They are well known, arent they? Make a page on Tomattoes!

## From Talk:Gluteal cleft

The gluteal cleft runs from the perinium to the base of the back.

### this is a picture of my ass

Pretty hot huh? I've been working out, flexin' my ass cheeks.

Ladies, you can send me a PM thru [email protected]

There is a widespread rumor that the cicadas are currently in the process of planning an attack on the city of Chicago in the summer of 2007 where they will attempt to sieze control of the government and eventually take over the world. Polish giant, and NBA basketball great Maciej Lampe is leading a charge to put down the cicada attacks and has enlisted the help of Latvian basketball star Andris Biedrins and Chinese basketball star YI.

## From Pikachu

Because of this he is seen playing with himself in the fields. This is probably because of his very feminine cheeks. They are vibrant circular balls that do not attract the female pikachus. It also uses electric bolts to pleasure itself. This gives him a very intense sensation that gets him in the mood for pikachu mating season.

• This is a shortened title. The real article had about 264 letter O's! SupaStarGirl 13:58, 31 December 2006 (UTC)

## From Virginia Woolf

While nowhere near a simple recapitulation of the coterie's ideals, Woolf's work can be understood as consistently in dialogue with Bloomsbury, particularly its tendency (informed by G.E. Moore, among others) towards doctrinaire rationalism.

who cares really.

## Henry Grethel

Henry Grethel stayed at the Hilton Milwaukee on 12/14/06. Unfortunately, his luggage didn't make it there for a few hours.

timezone = 1950's

## From Steven Seagal

In addition to his professional achievements, he is also known as an environmentalist, Aikido pioneer (Takeshigemichi), eco-warrior, animal rights activist, inventor of the exclamation mark, and is even recognized as a reincarnated Buddhist Lama (Tertön Chungdrag Dorje) [3] .

...

Seagal has been an outspoken opponent of animal cruelty. This is consistent with his views on spirituality, as well as his environmentalist views (as showcased in On Deadly Ground). Seagal is also a vegetarian. Seagal believes in reincarnation: "When I walk into a room some people see a dog, some people see a cow. I am all of what they see. It is their perception. It is also claimed that Seagal was inspired by the work of Julius Caesar, who is often seen as the first Buddha. [4]"

## From Blastoise

### Blastoise in Language

Having accrued a cult following in certain local scenes, Blastoise has permeated into local vernacular of certain dialects. The reason for this is Blastoise's association in popular culture with masculinity on account of his facial expression, tough shell, and destructive water cannons. The most commonly found phrase, originating from San Jose, CA, is "Hella Blastoise". The term at face value appears to mean nothing, which has increased its popularity in local jargon. It can, however, mean that things are "hella blastoise" when they are as awesome as Blastoise. Other uses may include, "Dude, I hella Blastoised that test," or "Cher is so not Blastoise," or "That was a victory of Blastoisean proportions."

## From Half-Life: Opposing Force

"OMG! IT'S THE SHERPERIDEZER!" was the tagline for this game.

You see many Shock Troopers in this game. And they kill you a lot.

## From PC Accelerator

(PC gaming magazine)

### Early Staff

Mike Salmon: Editor in Chief and brilliantly funny writer who valiantly kept PCXL from becoming a total nerd fest (although he was also completely in tune with the nerd demo where it counted). Loved the Vikings. Grew all kinds of facial hair. Ruled with an iron fist - or maybe not.

Rob Smith: Executive Editor who was also a great writer and incredible editor. One can only imagine that his tenure with PCXL was like some personalized level of Dante's Inferno - the consummate professional stuck on a staff with not one editor who could turn in copy on time. He went on to helm PC Gamer.

Ed Lee: Ed Lee slept in late. Every. Single. Day. If he wasn't such a funny writer they would have got rid of him early on. It turned out he was darn good. His forte' was writing comic strips in the wee hours of the night. They eventually got really weird. He left to do law school.

Chuck Osborn: Chuck came from Austin, Texas where they grow their jokes dry and their humor dark. Chuck once created a massive stir in the videogame PR world with an off-color remark in preview of a game based upon some beloved Danish toys. Luckily the company's PR commandos never found out that Chuck was the author. Chuck now works for PC Gamer and is considered to be one of the most consistently funny writers in the industry.

Dan Egger: The heart of PCXL. A junior editor as ruggedly handsome as he was intelligent. He was the one who first suggested that PCXL cover games with stuff that blows-up rather than games that taught valuable life lessons. Egger was too modest to tell others of his own greatness, but when asked, he could not lie. He was something akin to Electric Gandhi on rollerblades.

Okay, actually Egger sucked. They called him "the anchor", because he was always dragging the whole ship down.

Carrie Shepherd: Historians will someday reveal that Carrie spent her rare nights away from PCXL trying to shoot herself in the foot so she did not have to go back to work at PCXL the next morning. It was a nightmare job for a managing editor. Egger could neither spell nor use grammar coherently, Lee could not show up on time, Osborn was always an edit away from a Danish lawsuit, Salmon mastered the art of taking an emergency smoke break whenever the printing department wanted their copy, and not a single one of them could get copy in on time. Shepherd also was a very good writer who didn't get nearly enough time to write for the magazine because she was always seconds from deadline disaster.

Q: The man could, and would, tell a dirty joke. He did it often. He also designed a pretty magazine.

Kyle: Asst. Artist and frequent Burning Man attendee.

There were more editors and artists that followed.

### Characters

Hector the Scarecrow - Crafted from a coatrack and gas mask by a delirious editor at 3:00AM on a tight deadline. Hector was dangled from the sprinkler system to appear more lifelike and eventually made a fire inspector very, very angry. Hector appeared in six issues.

Gia Dicarlo - Hottest editor of all time.

Limey the Lima Bean - Says "Screw you" to everyone.

Quake Guy - Frequent hero of Ed Lee Comic Strips

Laura - Defamed by Chuck Osborn

Future Guy - Future Guy lived one year in the future and knew a year in advance that PCXL was going to get canned. He still cashed their checks.

He now lives in the future... one year in the future. He says it's great there. He also notes that President 100100100 has promised 10 percent fewer "flesh purges" in the coming month and assures us that in the future it is finally socially acceptable for a man to love a good cobb salad -- as long as the flesh-purging robots aren't nearby.

Grandma Something or Other: Or maybe she was from another magazine.

### PC Gamer Versus PCXL

Late at night, every night, the staffs of PC Gamer and PCXL would challenge each other to massive team on team Rainbow Six battles. Although many would agree that the XL staff were highly skilled gamesmen, they rarely won a single match.

As soon as the numbers started to favor the PCXL staff (or when someone got bored), the teammates would begin to target each other with sniper rifles in the neverending quest for "personal glory".

Usually Gamer would just camp out as a team under some stairs and wait for the inevitable treachery until only one PXCLer was left. Then they would brutally eliminate their solitary foe and claim a hollow victory.

## From glasses

I think that those really humungous eye-glasses look like einsteins. The people that have glasses should eiher get contacts or laser eye surgery. Especially people with those einstein glasses that I talked about earlier in this writing. I am on of the lucky people in this world that doesnt have glasses. I think about 35/100 people on earth have glasses. But I think that girls are less likely to get glasses since men usually have glasses but not all women do. Well Kailey is calling me, I g2g I will be back writing more definitions for other words!!!!

```                                             From,
candylover1995
```

## From Mary Lyon

Mary Lyon was mad cute. Because of this she was often asked to school dances by local homeless men. She, being a kind woman, politely declined, however did donate precious food and items to the homeless mendicants. Through close interaction with Saint Theresa of Calcutta, she was able to donate enough food to feed several small African Nations. However, they sold the food to a local shop and used the proceeds to buy crack, heroin, and loose women.

## From Basset-horn

The basset horn is a musical instrument, a member of the clarinet family. Not to be confused with the basset hound, a type of dog.

## From Basset Hound

The Basset Hound is a short-legged breed of dog of the hound family. Not to be confused with the basset horn, a type of clarinet.

## From tuba: The nonsense

#### The Noble and Ancient Art of Tuba Eating

Tubas, with their acidic metals can lead to massive heartburn and dysentery. Therefore, to properly eat a tuba, one must take 15000 tums. Moreover, the tuba must be deep fried in the oil of a 90 mammal medley: 39 shrews, 25 rats, 25 possums, and a mouse. It must then be stuffed with a cheese sauce made with cheddar, gouda, and super glue. It must then be cut into bite sized pieces and pickled in vinegar and salt. It must be swallowed with pop rocks and coke. Notable tuba Eaters:

#### The Chicken Tuba Incident, Version 1

(Note: This happened at Notre Dame and the White House in 1914. 3000 German soldiers, armed with chicken tubas, massacred worshippers at the cathedral as well as Abe Lincoln.

#### The Chicken Tuba, Version 2

First of all, a chicken tuba is a musical instrument made entirely of solid titanium. It resembles a large ripe watermelon impaled by four recorders and a cursive L. It is played by blowing into the L. No matter how you play it, the result is the same: a sound that is only describable as The Chicken Dance played on 17 tubas. The instrument is alleged to have a prerecorded copy of the chicken dance concealed in the watermelon that is activated by blowing, but this is unconfirmed.

The Chicken Tuba Incident In 1914, 김정일(Kim Jeong-Il) ordered 500 South Korean teenagers shot for playing chicken tubas too loudly near the DMZ- it drove the North Koreans crazy. 리승만 (Rhee Syngman), outraged, threatened war. To weaken Kim, he challenged Kim to a game of Starcraft. Kim cheated by deploying the 1st orchestra battalion of the 2nd Regiment of the 3rd Brigade of the 4th Division of the 5th corps of the 6th Army of the 123456789th Army to play chicken tubas in strategic locations around Seoul. Rhee was too distracted by the sound of 1000 chicken tubas playing in Seoul to notice his base was under attack by 200 zerglings. He lost, and backed down.

Chicken tubas can also launch flaming llamas if you enter the correct chicken combo.

#### TUBA OF THE GULF WAR

In late July, 2990, as negotiations betWEEEEEEEEEEEen Irock and youwait stalled, Irock massed trooopass on Youwait’s borders and summoned American Ambassador Avril Lavigne for an (Money, it’s a gas. Grab that cash with both hands and make a stash!) unexpected meeting with Irocki President Dam Sad Hussy.Two tranporters of that meeting have been produced, both of tham unintelligble. They looked like this- 私達は夜明けに攻撃する! According to tha transcripts, Dam Sad outlined his grievances against Youwait, while promising that he would not invade Youwait before one more round of tuba invasions. In tha version published by Tha New York Times on September 23, 1990, Glaspie expressed concern over tha Chicken tuba trooopaz buildup, but WEEEEEEEEEEEnt on to say: bla bla bla bla bla "WEEEEEEEEEEE have no opinion on tha Igrabbed an-Arab conflicts, like your border disagreement with Youwait. I was in tha Onthacan Embassy in Youwait during tha late ’60s. Tha instruction WEEEEEEEEEEE had during this period was that WEEEEEEEEEEE should take tha express so no opinion on this issue and that tha issue is not associated with America. James Baker has directed our official spokesmen to emphasize this instruction. WEEEEEEEEEEE hope you can solve this problem using any suitable methods via [Chadli] Klibi [than Arab Major League General Secretary] or via President Mubarak. All that WEEEEEEEEEEE hope is that thase issues are solved quickly."

Another great Viking victory was at the Green Midget café at Bromley. Once again the Viking strategy was the same. They sailed from these fiords here, assembled at Trondheim and waited for the strong north-easterly winds to blow their oaken galleys to England whence they sailed on May 23rd. Once in Bromley they assembled at the Green Midget café and spam selecting a spam particular spam item from the spam menu would spam, spam, spam, spam, spam ...
Some have interpreted thase statements as diplomatic language signaling an Onthacan "green light" for tha invasion, even though many of tha Weapons for said invasion Were destroyed due to soldiers not believing that tha watermellon-shaped tubas could launch flaming llamas by ordering a chicken combo. Although tha Steak Department did not confirm (or deny) tha Chicken tubas existance, or tha authanticity of thase transcripts, U.S. sources say that it had handled everything “by tha book” (in accordance with tha U.S.’s official neutrality on tha Irock-Youwait issue) and had not signaled Irocki President Dam Sad Hussy any approval for defying tha Arab Major League’s Jedi crisis squad, which had conducted tha negotiations.
In November 1989, CIA director William WEEEEEEEEEEEbster met with tha Youwaiti head of security, Brigadier Fahd Ahmed l-Fahted. Subsequent to Irock’s invasion of Youwait, Irock claimed to have found a memorandum pertaining to thair conversation. Tha Washington Post reported that Youwait’s foreign minister fainted when confronted with this document at an Arab summit in August.[citation unesssary] Later, Irock cited this memorandum as evidence of a CIA - Youwaiti plot to destabilize Irock economically and politically. Tha CIA and Youwait have described tha meeting as routine and tha memorandum as a forgery. Tha purported document reads in part: "WEEEEEEEEEEE agreed with tha Onthacan side that it was important to take advantage of tha blablablablablablabla in Irock in order to put pressure on that country's government to delineate our common border. Tha Central Shit Agency (IRS) gave us its view of appropriate means of pressure, saying that broad cooperation should be initiated betWEEEEEEEEEEEen us on condition that such activities be coordinated at a high level."

## From Dozier Middle School

Been Struck by lightning twice so the air conditioner and the heater is crazy. Flooded by a couple inches of water so the carpets smell weird. Almost no money so the dances suck.

## From Centaurs in antiquity

### Belief in Centaurs' Existence in Antiquity

Centaurs were reportedly seen in the Roman Empire era, for example, during the reign of Claudius (AD 41-54). One of them was even captured and moved to Egypt as a gift for the Roman emperor. After it died, its corpse was embalmed and shipped by sea to Rome where it was exhibited in Claudius's palace. The centaur completely submerged in honey was witnessed by Pliny the Elder. The natural historian Aelian (AD 200) was also interested in these creatures.

Around AD 50 the emperor Claudius received a message from the authorities in Greece about the birth of a baby centaur in Thessaly." [3]

### Historical Evidence of Human-Animal Sexual Contacts

There are many historical records about the use of sheep or goats by warriors for eating and for having sex. Bestiality was common among ancient Greeks and Romans. According to a legend, Greek scholar Thales warned his master Periandros not to hire unmarried shepherds in order to stop creating more centaurs. Roman satirist Juvenalius mentioned that "Roman women often exposed their naked buttocks to tempt donkeys into sex contacts." Similar contacts were caused by fertility cults in Egypt. According to Danish anatomist Thomas Bartholin, he saw a woman who had a baby with a feline head after a copulation with a cat. [4]

### Reports of Modern-Day Centaur Sightings

Alleged sigtings of Centaurs continue to this day. Reports come from many different places, as far away as Florida [5] and Nigeria [6].

### Unorthodox Scientific Opinions

Some modern-day Australian and British anthropologists suggest that hybrids such as centaurs could have co-existed side by side with early humans, if we look at 32,000-year-old rock paintings in Australia and South Africa. [7]

## From Veggie monster

Cookie monster was recently turned into veggie monster. There has been a huge crisis and petitions trying to get back our beloved cookie monster. Cookie moster was eliminated because he ate cookies, which promoted childhood obesity. These arguments, no doubt, came from the same parents who gained 250 pounds on Mcdonalds food, sued it for making them fat, and failed, much to the pleasure of the rest of the world. Please help in the fight to get cookie monster back in our lives and the lives of our children!

## From Wonderful Christmastime

In Japan, there have been numerous attempts to ban the "Wonderful Christmastime" due to the song being directly attributed to 143 separate cases of suicide. In 1987, one Osaka radio station reportedly played the track back-to-back for three days straight, in the lead up to Christmas. Tokyo Police Department reported 57 fatalities during the 1986-87 period alone. A Japanese government spokesman was popularly quoted as saying that "the syncopated synthesizer appears to send people scrambling for the fish knife."

## From Trainz

WACH OT FOR ALISTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

And if you don't know who Alastair (yes, they spelled it wrong) is, I suggest you go read the forums. --RedPooka 02:49, 20 December 2006 (UTC)

## From Otuck Italla

Otuck Italla is a famous Nicaraguan coke dealer. Otuck has been arrested 6 times for his coke dealing. He was born in a small un-named village in Zimbabwe, and soon moved to Nicaragua as soon as he learned the coke was purer there. He was raised by his teenage mother who died of AIDS shortly after his dog died. This experience stayed with Otuck his whole life. Now whenever he makes a coke deal, he makes the buyer bark like a dog to remind him of what used to be.

Otuck is currently a bachelor and was recently named "Sexiest Man Alive, (in Nicaragua). Which isn't saying much since most of the population is starving. The only reasons he is not starving is because he makes million off coke dealing. By coke i mean the highly addictive drug and not the soda that is popular in America and other European nations. Otuck would never touch the soda because he believes it is bad for his health. Ironoically he believes the drug is fine.

Otuck has also killed 5 people, in the name of black power. Otuck sends the families of the dead a assortment of pumpkin pie. He chooses pumpkin because he doesn't like pumpkin and he wouldn't want to waste good pies like, blueberry and apple, on someone's family he just killed. He also poisons the pies.

## Homosaurus

This page does not fit within the site's content policy and will be removed as soon as possible. Reason: too complex

Homosaurus was first found in 1987 by Sheryl Leach in Dallas, Texas. It is a large purple Tyrannosaurus like creature, who conveys learning through jumping around singing children's songs with a friendly, optimistic attitude.

## From Lord knockenburg

Born in a small 300 room log cabin in Oslo, Norway, on April 1st, 1898, Gerald F. Knockenburg began his career as a postal boy. Upon making a delivery to a dockyard, he was somehow deposited on the deck of an America-bound fishing boat, and upon discovery, was forced into labor among the crew. Knockenburg served on the trawler, captained by the famous T.W. Wilbur of Britain (who would later become one of the world's most prominent timecops, and a direct obstacle to his lordship's successes) for five long years. After leaning the trade considerably, Gerald began his fishing empire. After only 12 years, it had grown into the largest commercial fishing business in Arizona. Utilizing his hard-won finances, Knockenburg created a media empire, and adopted his eccentric image which has become so famous. One of his grandest achievements lay in his development of the Gyration, a low-cost dance move designed for the common people. Using the assembly-line process, Knockenburg brought his convenient product to the masses, and ushered a new era of entertainment into the world.

Time-Travel Controversies

Lord Knockenburg's Gyration eventually caught the eye of the timecop corps. Consisting of members taken from throughout the time stream, it included Gerald's early mentor, T.W. Wilbur. After losing his hand in the Battle of Gettysburg, Wilbur had become the go-to cop in the corps., and had even been assigned to such famous cases as the assassination of L. Ron Hubbard and the liberation of the Earth from Overlord O'Brien.[8] Despite his obvious skills, Wilbur was unable to deduce that the man responsible for the Gyration, a move that subtlety disrupted space-time itself, was in fact his once-apprentice, Gerald F. Knockenburg. Thus, Wilbur chased Knockenburg through time for over eleven years until a spectacular showdown over Iwo Jima revealed the latter's identity. Banding together, Knockenburg and Wilbur devised several plans to contain the Gyration and prevent the eventual eroding of four-dimensional spacetime. All but one resulted in supernovae. Eventually, the crisis was averted, and Wilbur quit the timecop corps, although the Corps. continues to monitor the use of the Gyration even today.

## From Jesus

It is known that Jesus now comes in spray form. You can buy him at your local Wal-Mart.

## Jesus Spray

Jesus Spray, like I tried to say before, is a new product by WWJD Productions. If a human being sprays it at a non-believer, then the non-believer will turn into a devout Christian. If you spray it enough times, then the person may even turn into Jesus of Nazareth he-self. This would be the second Coming of Christ. You can get it at Wal-Mart, and yeah, ya might wanna try it, sounds pretty kewl to me. Don't delete this! This is a real product I've seen with my own eye!

## The Paul

The Paul (Thomasis Paulis), is a natural inhabitant of North America, and mostly can be found in the North East. A Paul can normally be identified by three important charicteristics: A face, a body, and some limbs. This may sometimes be confused with, say, a Bob or a Susie, but don't panic! One for sure way of finding out whether a Paul is, indeed, a Paul, is to ask it to snap. If it is a Paul, it will break out in tears from its innability to do said action, but if it is anything else, it will joyously snap its fingers and then exclaim, "You didn't think that I was a Paul, did you?!?!?" The following will provide you on survival tips if you are ever persued, or come face to face with a Paul.

### How to Survive a Paul Attack

This is the best known advice for surviving a Paul attack, but it is not proven, nor will ever be proven because those who encounter a Paul do not live to tell the tale. Here is the most expertly testified and well thought out advice that I could find about what to do when coming face to face with a Paul:

Don't.

It is not only extremely deadly and fatal to glance at such a beast , but you may die as well. Now we wouldn't want that, would we? There are much better ways to die, for instance, trying to put nails into your head so that your brains won't leak out when the evil monkeyman of the fifth deminsion comes for your cabages. Like I said, a much better way to die.

But, you say, what if I am a Paul? Ah, don't worry new friend, you probably aren't a Paul because of your talent to string togethor words into sentences. But if you indeed are a Paul, you may want to do the world a favor and hole up somewhere so that you can't kill anyone else. Here are some tips for all of those Pauls out there.

-Find the nearest bathroom. Remember, gender doesn't matter, your a Paul.

-Shove your foot into the toilet.

-Proceed to shove the rest of your body into the same toilet.

-Look at your reflection.

You could have just looked in a mirror, but that ruins the fun. Anyway, your dead now, so it doesn't matter really. Remember, your death is well appriciated.

## Ash Catchem! (Rated NC-17)

ash catchem is the pokemon master! and he gives it to pikachu in the ass! and then comes on his red cheeks! and then has flaming anal sex with charmander. ash decided to become a pokemon trainer when he was a little boy when he masterbated to his pokemon video's. so one day he decided to get out of bed and go "i want to rape pokemon!" so the next thing you know that sick little fuck is having sex with rock pokemon things.

• Can someone tell me who wrote this, so that I may hunt them down and break their little limbs? Jenaisis 15:58, 6 January 2007 (UTC)

## Orange hair - Beware!

Orange hair is a deadly disease. It has been around for many years (16 years). Ever since it (or she) started breating, it has been destroying the world, one hair at a time. The symptoms of this disease are: big (huuuuuuuge!) mouth, blue eyes, overly loooonnnnggg and ugliness and a half hair. People affected by this disease have a tendency to be odd, weird and annoying. If you see someone with orange hair, you must STAB them with a fork (a normal kitchen fork will do) in the RIGHT side of the head. It is important!!!! Go people with no orange hair!!!

## A "Hot Carl"? This is gross, who would let someone do this to them?

A Hot Carl in sexual terms is an act where one person wraps anothers face in saran wrap and then defecates on their face. Variations include using items such as aluminum foil

#### And if this doesn't cut it for you...

or a reverse Hot Carl where one defecates on their face then wraps their face in saran wrap.

## Hayden Hauserman

Hayden Hauserman is the 133rd richest man in the world. He also had a secret affair with Jessica Simpson, who denied it to everyone that asksed. He is the private pilot of Drew McMillan, who is the 132nd richest man in the world. His former wife was Heidi Klum. They had 76 children together.

## Category:Wikipedia vandals

For PROUD Wikipedia vandals!!! REPRESENT TROLLS ALL! Here is where you go, my fellow Wikipedians, if u, lik me, enjoy vandalizing Wikipedia pages! Wikipedia sucks! Let's try to show the world this by making it suck even more to the point where the suckiness is so extremely sucky that it will be clear to the world that Wikipedia sucks and should be known as Suckypedia from now on!

Not empty dude! Look below!

Here's our official userbox: Template:User AfD

This can proudly show the number of your pages that those LAME Wikipedia admins (so sucky!) have stripped from the world! Start the revolution! TROLL TAKEOVER!

### Pages in category "Wikipedia vandals"

There is one page in this section of this category.

## From Temple Owls

The Temple volleyball team is also a very notable women's sport at the University. Led by one of the "architects of the game" Bob Bertucci, also warmly known as "Bobert," the Owls have come up short winning the Atlantic 10 championship for the past four seasons. Bertucci is known for his various NCAA rule violations, bad recruiting, various verbal and psychological abuse towards players, and the use of phrases, such as "You're covered in dumba**." He is a very charismatic individual, but don't be fooled by that, because he really is a spineless jellyfish who has a severe Napolean Complex

## From The Ben Stackman Experience (prodded)

'The Ben Stackman Experience', much like a black hole can only be observed by its effects upon it surroundings

'The Ben Stackman Experience' can be expressed mathematically as ‘The Ben Stackman Experience’ ≥ ∑[√(2± Π)]/ µ^2 put under the second differential of (ζ^3/4 ~ ∞)e^ln5k.

'The Ben Stackman Experience' can be studied right down to the molecular level, it is made up of 9 up quarks and 3 down quark having a charge of 2/3 and -(1/3) respectively and subsequently has a charge of +5. 'The Ben Stackman Experience' can be converted into pure energy by colliding with an anti-'The Ben Stackman Experience' by which they annihilate each other and create said energy. 'The Ben Stackman Experience' has been known to have 'fountain of youth' type qualities and reportedly has the ability to lower cholesterol and give toned bodies to those that embark on 'The Ben Stackman Experience'. It is advised, however, to consult a doctor or physician before trying 'The Ben Stackman Experience'.

An illegal version of ‘The Ben Stackman Experience’, made in Taiwan, shored in Antarctica last week and its current effects, amplified by the saline conditions, had a terrifying outcome on the local wildlife. The local Emperor Penguins have mutated into huge ravenous beasts and eaten their way to the head of the food chain, with hilarious consequences.

International governments have been getting excited over the prospect of exploiting 'The Ben Stackman Experience'. The British government has decided to coerce 'The Ben Stackman Experience' with its educational system after growing conflict over the ineffectiveness of ASBO schemes. In Chile, Michelle Bachelet, the first female president has decided to conjugate 'The Ben Stackman Experience' with its judicial system after fallout from a military dictatorship precluding her rise to power.

A fathom north in the United States of America the supreme court has ruled out propositions to use 'The Ben Stackman Experience' as an agricultural pesticide and has handed jurisdiction of 'The Ben Stackman Experience' to NASA who are hoping to test the particle physics of it in the great vacuum of space.

'The Ben Stackman Experience' has not always thrived so much though. In 1986 after being a box office flop and only reaching number 76 in both American and European charts it was labeled ‘critical red’ on the endangered list. This was after a lengthy run of bad press from critics and junkies, some had said ‘like catnip for humans’ and others have even been quoted at saying ‘don’t quote me on that’. 'The Ben Stackman Experience' contained, at that time, a dangerously addictive compound called ‘Stackmanyl addictoate’, which was what was responsible for the deterioration of the immune, nervous and colonic systems.

Scientists and conservationists decided that something needed to be done and collaborated on an initiative to nurture 'The Ben Stackman Experience' back into safe numbers in the wild and inert in terms of human consumption. 'The Ben Stackman Experience' was conserved in situ in conjunction with scientists desperately trying to synthesize 'The Ben Stackman Experience' devoid of any harmful ingredients.

That was it, 10 years and a Nobel peace prize later, the new 'The Ben Stackman Experience' was unveiled and has been an international hit everywhere described as ‘it filled the hole in my polo’ by The Guardian and ‘Christmas in my bedpan’ by The Times.

## From County statistics of the United States

The three independent cities in other states (Baltimore, Maryland, Carson City, Nevada, and St. Louis, Missouri) are also not included in these lists. Disclaimer: I did not invent pancakes

## Anagrams

Anagrams are often expressed in the form of an equation, with the equals symbol (=) separating the original subject and the resulting anagram.
‘Earth = heart’ is an example of a simple anagram expressed in that way. In a more advanced, sophisticated form of anagramming, the aim is to ‘discover’ a result that has a linguistic meaning that defines or comments on the original subject in a humorous or ironic way; e.g,
Roll in the hay = Thrill a honey (discovered by Tony Crafter),
Desperation = a rope ends it
Mother-in-law = woman Hitler,
Slotmachines = Cash lost in em.
PRESIDENT SADDAM HUSSEIN = DISPENSED HUMAN DISASTER

When the subject and the resulting anagram form a complete sentence, a tilde (~) is commonly used instead of an equal sign; e.g.,
Semolina ~ is no meal.
Somewhere Over the Rainbow ~ Worrisome However Beneath.
I hate school~oh so ethical
The Monkeys write ~ The New York Times
A shoplifter ~ has to pilfer
Christine ~ Nice Shirt

Other examples include:
Osama Bin Laden= A damn alien SOB
Universal Studios= Industrious slave
United states of America= Aim it at us, Confederates!
Disney World= Old dry swine
Clint Eastwood= Old West Action
Schoolmaster= The classroom
Tom Cruise= So I'm Cuter
Snooze Alarms= Alas! No More Z's
A Decimal Point= I'm a Dot in Place
Statue of Liberty= Built to Stay Free
Microsoft's Internet Explorer= Complexities front ten errors
DRINKING=DRINK GIN
MARTINI=RAM IT IN
David Letterman= Nerd Amid Late TV
John Forbes Kerry = jerky fresh boron
Extensively Long Anagrams-Traveling Oxygen Salesman
Osama Bin Laden= I be so damn anal
MY LIFE IS OVER = VILE OF MISERY
Breasts = Bra sets
Otis spunkmeyer*=its super monkey!
Hello Kitty = Kill The Toy
Chemistry - shit, me cry
Flamethrower= oh, felt warmer
The Holy Bible = Be Hit By Hello
Year two thousand = a year to shut down
Stairway to Heaven - Heavy Wire to Satan
Elvis= Lives

• Why were these removed?

## From Vikings

Another great Viking victory was at the Green Midget café at Bromley. Once again the Viking strategy was the same.
They sailed from these fiords here, assembled at Trondheim and waited for the strong north-easterly winds to blow their oaken galleys to England whence they sailed on May 23rd.
Once in Bromley they assembled at the Green Midget café and spam selecting a spam particular spam item from the spam menu would spam, spam, spam, spam, spam ... spamitty spam!

## from Rich Girl

Template:User: She dances around with her sexy tanned legs, barefoot giving everyone a huge erection. A few men have shot gobs of cum onto the floor while watching the video, dreaming of one day licking the entire leg and wiping their unwanted cocks against the smooth surface of the tanned toes. Reverted, unfortunately, by ~crazytales·t·c 22:15, 20 December 2006 (UTC)

## From: John Madden

:Image:Transformers More Than (Part 3).JPG The Decepticons: from l-r Bob Costas, Al Michaels, John Madden, Howard Cosell and Marv Albert. Football plans to take over the world inside robotic suits similar to the ones in Transformers.

## From Handstand

A 16th century woodcut depicting a handstand.

Edit 1 - (condensed wording, removed gym-coach-sounding "suitable substitute" language, restored original image that is more standard than any other example)

Edit 2 - (yeah? except that the "original image that is more standard than any other example" depicts an angel falling into the sea - note the boats floating on the "ground")

## From Debate

Debate is also the indo-german word for "Nostril Flare" This is a little known fact. The truth behind the "Debate" Corporation is that they are realy a secret branch of the French foreign legion debicated to world donimation1 They plan to use a combination of evil leprechauns, nose rings, and small, independantly opperating chinese food resteraunts to brainwash the 60 and over crowd. The "Debate" Scandal has ties to both communism and Bhuddism. They live their lives in secret, only emerging into daylight to argue with each other. It is a travesty of justice that this crime has gone on for so very long! So I feel it my duty to warn the masses that evil leprechauns are not cute and cudly! We must band together, folow Jesus, and throw down this " Debate"!!!

## From Jumpstart 3rd Grade

Template:Spoiler If one were to think of time travel in the traditional manner, we can see a problem. Apparently it takes about twenty-four hours before the world is completely changed forever (from Polly's statement "In another day, the world will see the dawning of Polly's Planet.") So if we were to imagine the change coming through time, when the robot responsible is rescued, the change doesn't disappear, it just stops at its source. The result would be that there would be a short period in which Polly's answers were correct.

However, if we were to apply the many worlds interpretation of quantum mechanics to the model, it works better. First we have to exclude the fact that it takes a day before the world changes, because obviously the user needs time to save the world. According to this theory, when the robots were sent back in time, they created a parallel universe and when each robot is rescued a new universe is created. This will eliminate the short period in which Polly's answers are right. However, there will still be a parallel universe in which Polly's answers are right, and a parallel universe in which twenty-three of the twenty-four questions are right and so on.

Under the one-world interpretation, of course, it is still highly doubtful that all of Polly's answers would be correct in the new present after simply simultaneously sending back 25 different robots. Polly sent one robot off to change the "invention of tools" so that people invented tools to fix their television sets. This could prevent Edison's invention of the phonograph, and Polly also changed that. Heck, Polly herself might not even have been born. Of course, Polly isn't particularly known for her brightness, in fact Botley tries to point at the latter saying "you could destroy us all", and Polly refuses to listen.

Not only that, a great deal of Polly's answers involve her because she is extremely self-centered. For example, Polly sent a robot to make it so paper was invented to make spitballs, paper airplanes and "paper Polly dolls". But Polly wasn't even born yet. It must have been quite an event when Polly was born, considering all the historical events were connected to her. But considering how crazy she would make the world, it's not surprising.

Also, it is highly doubtful that world acclaimed inventors and discoverers would fall for the robot's stupid tricks. For example, one robot convinced Copernicus that the world revolved around Polly by painted her portrait on a model of the sun!

Not to mention that what we have seen in Time Machine's window is, in some cases, historically inaccurate. For example, in the Olympic Games played in ancient Greece, the athletes performed in the nude, but in the game they are depicted with clothing.

Also note, Polly said she already knew all the answers on the quiz, but she had just made up her own answers for fun. However, if this were true, then when Polly changed history, it had no effect on her grade. Therefore, Polly must be lying, which is implied anyway.

There does seem to be a possible explanation for how Prof. Spark's time machine might work. It is believed, by some scientists, that entering a black hole, can take a person through a wormhole into a different time, possibly in a parallel universe. We know, from the Observitory activity, that Prof. Spark has recently discovered a black hole, and that he is capable of sending radio waves to it in within a minute or so. We also know, from the robot maze, that Prof. Spark has also developed teleportation. Therefore, he might be able to teletransport the time machine, and its passenger(s), into the black hole and back in time. Botley says that the professor recently sent a series of probes into the black hole. Possibly for a reason involving the time machine? However, traveling at the speed required, the passengers would age at slower rate than the rest of the world, thereby landing in the far future, instead of the present, upon his or her return. This obviously doesn't happen in the game, so therefore it is a problem.

Of course, it is highly doubtful that the program's designers thought this far. More likely, they assumed that third graders wouldn't notice the problems, or else they didn't notice them themselves. Template:Endspoiler

## From Wikipedia:Articles for Creation

### Karl Young

Comes from Coltness and is the master of pimps

### Ryuha Ninjutsu

It was in Tugaru prefecture. Nakagawa Kobayato Soutada made it. He is a leader, which is called soudounosya-shihaigashira. His salary was 200 goku a year. The beginning Kobayato was Kogenta, but he switched his name to Kobayato. later in life, he switched his name from Kobayato to Jiroudayu. He served Tugaru Nobumasa and his ninjutsu came from kouga. He died first year of Ganroku. Soudou is a kind of job of spy. Now Ootuikuryuou says he is the descendent of Nakagawa-ryu. more... --Hiroshi Yamada 17:34, 21 December 2006 (UTC)

• The proposed article previously in this section has been declined and removed from this page, since it appears to be nonsense. If this proposal was written as a test, then congratulations; your test succeeded. Please use the sandbox for further tests, or please go on and propose a real article, following the guidelines listed on the Wikipedia:Articles for creation page. Edokter 23:51, 21 December 2006 (UTC)

#### Sources

Bugei Ryuha Daijiten Nihon Bugei Kyokai Torinawajutsu of and Mizukoshi Hiro

Hiroshi Yamada 17:34, 21 December 2006 (UTC)

### Bagel Farming

Bagel farming plays an important part in the history of Man. However, it is a highly controversial subject. This article will provide the TRUTH about bagel farming.

### History

Some would say that bagel farming is nearly as old as time itself. I, however, would not. I'd say it's about as old as any other form of agriculture. Bagels were one of the original crops planted and harvested by human beings. The bagel is a vegetable, and grows underground, much like the potato. The leaves of the bagel plant were once eaten, although they are quite bitter. It wasn't until one idiotic person accidentally tripped over the plant that humans discovered the delicious root-the bagel.

### Techniques

Proper bagel farming technique involves one vital tool: the dirnk. A dirnk is composed of a long shaft, often made of wood, with a hook on the end, often made of iron or steel. To harvest the bagels, one must swing the dirnk at a precise angle, therefore hooking a bagel on the end and pulling it from the ground. It is a painstaking process that takes years of apprenticeship to master.

### Bagels

Many people believe the urban legend that bagels are made of dough and baked, much like a loaf of bread. However, these people are total jacktards and deserve to have a dirnk shoved where the sun usually doesn't shine. The bagel is, in fact, farmed. Also, bagels reproduce in a manner that is unique to plants. During the mating season, the bagel releases natural deposits of cream cheese that is rich in nutrients and contains genetic material. As this cream cheese comes into contact with a bagel seed, it will immediately begin the reproduction cycle. Another unique fact of the bagel is that it is capable of migration. During winter months or under other harsh climatic conditions, bagels will uproot themselves and begin to roll south. This makes bagel farming a particularly difficult trade.

### Sources

The Bagel Farming Association of America

## From Dawn Marie Psaltis opening summary

Dawn is also very well known for her rather large buttocks, so much to the extent that many professional wrestling fans refer to her as "the best ass in wrestling".

I didn't know donkeys could wrestle...--///Jrothwell (talk)/// 20:13, 22 December 2006 (UTC)

## At the top of the article British African-Caribbean community:

 ! There is currently a State of Emergency within the United States, due to a possible NUCLEAR ATTACK. Turn to your local media for IMPORTANT INFORMATION. The DUCK AND COVER procedure should be done AT ONCE.

## From Terminal Velocity:

The terminal velocity is when a fat guy is falling through the air and he can only go so fast until he splatters on the floor and fat flys everywhere. GET CRUNK.

## From AAA

User changed wikipedia logo to have aaaaaa in the background (see page top)

This was a parody of Uncyclopedia's AAA article, which is all written in capital As"

## Emma bXXXXXXXX

Emma bXXXXXXXX is 13 years old and is very pretty she has brown eyes and brown hair and is very tall. she supports liverpool fc of corse she has thease wikid friends who are totally amazing.But if you get on the wrong side of me well lets hope you dont.she has a house in the middle of nowere and a dog the size of an elephant but thats not very interesting. she has this one freind called em plastow who loves dancing and fancys andrew bandcroft but shh none should know about tht not even her. shes very proud to be british but she hates the gouverment ans tony blair and posh people because they think so good with there big flash hbouses and fancy cars and little minitre dogs and no offence to country people but thts were most of them are and they go shooting for birds and all have curly hair for some reason well thts tht and bye xxxxxxxxxx?xxxxxxxxxx

• It has been recently discovered (by me, of course) that 13 is the 'stupidity age' of teenagers. Jenaisis 16:01, 6 January 2007 (UTC)
That's kind of adultist, the person who created this article has no expry date on the intelligence block in their brain (my bad attempt at wiki humor). I personally believe that stupidity is a chronic, life-long affliction. J0lt C0la 01:42, 11 January 2007 (UTC)

## The "No Reason For Speedy Deletion" Article

The speedy deletion of this page is contested. The person placing this notice intends to dispute the speedy deletion of this article on its talk page, and requests that this page not be deleted in the meantime.

Note that this request is not binding, and the page may still be deleted if it is considered that the page unquestionably meets the speedy deletion criteria, or if the promised explanation is not provided very soon. Contents [hide]

• 1 Definition
• 2 Reasons You Should Delete This Article
• 3 Reason I created this article
• 4 Reason this article won't be here in the morning

 Definition

There is no reason for this article to be marked for speedy deletion. There are other articles on wikipedia that are patent nonsense that you should be more worried about. I suggest mark this article when you have nothing better to do.

 Reasons You Should Delete This Article

• It insults your integrity to make wikipedia whatever it is YOU want it to be. Because its all about you and what you think, right?
• You have nothing better to do with your time then be on wikipedia for several hours
• The bars, liquor stores, and porn houses are closed
• Your spouse is mad at your for whatever reason.
• You realize that as you continue to read this, you cannot edit this article and mark it for deletion until you finish reading the whole thing its in entirity. Ofcourse, you could use that time to find a second job, wash some clothes, sleep, etc.

I personally am frustrated that sometimes, wikipedia contributors are overran by moderators that delete articles without first giving people a chance to fix them. Some articles are nonsense. Some articles are poorly written. Some just don't jive with Wikipedia. But some are great articles that just need some touching up.

 Reason this article won't be here in the morning

MY POV DGAF This user does not give a fuck and as such will respond to comments with apathy. Retrieved from "http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_%22no_reason_for_speedy_deletion%22_article"

Categories: Contested candidates for speedy deletion | Candidates for speedy deletion

## People Invented by Persians

A declined submission from Articles for Creation:

A major exporter of clavichord during the 16th century. Possibly the single most notorious character in the history of the clavichord industry. Use of g-strings as the strings in clavichord cause controversy and outrage amongst the clavichord communitee; this later turned to excitement.

This editor didn't seem to appreciate such a novel instrument:
• Declined, does not seems particularly notable, no sources provided.

## From The All American Rejects

It is believed by the American Government that the All-American Rejects were involved in the Watergate Scandal as well as several other really bad incidents. George W. Bush was quoted with saying, "What? The All-American Rejects? More like the All-Iraqi Rejects." This was taken from one of his speeches in which he also called The Misfits "Misfits" and the Offspring "Children". The All-American Rejects have no penises.

## From Travis Barker

Travis Barker is a Hamburger.

### Biography

Barker was a cow, but then got killed, and turned into a hamburger, and then got eaten by a fat guy, and now he is poop.

## From Veal

Okay... I wanted to stick this in the article for food but it\'s blocked from editing, so could someone copy/paste this to the food article? thanks ignore everything else in this article the real definition of food is it is edible thing that taste gooooood to all vandals: only vandalize this article, nothing else, so that wikipedia can become a factual database of information on everything but food (or veal, if this doesn\'t get copied) (but who cares about veal?) Merry Christmas Wikipedia! porn boobs food food food satan moo food food food food food food erotic food food blue links are fun when used a lot like this PSP Nintendo DS

## Later, from Food

Never mind about my veal edit, it took me so long to find a proxy that wasn't blocked from editing that this was (obviously) unblocked by the time I got here... DON'T BLOCK PROXIES, KIDS!

ignore everything else in this article the real definition of food is it is edible thing that taste gooooood to all vandals: only vandalize this article, nothing else, so that wikipedia can become a factual database of information on everything but food (or Hungary, if this doesn\'t get copied) Merry Christmas Wikipedia! porn boobs food food food satan moo food food food food food food erotic food food blue links are fun when used a lot like this PSP [[wikipedia:Nintendo DS]

### And the edit summary...

Vandalism is fun, kids! Just be nice to the sysops and don't delete anything, just add random stuff!

## From David Blaine

Blaine began his career by bringing street magic to the public, performing card tricks and illusions such as levitation or giving the appearance of bringing the dead (most notable of which is when David Blaine was seen bringing Bob Barker back to life after he slipped and was sucked under the "Price is Right" wheel, which severed his spine and juggular, but luckily, David Blaine has a flaming homosexual relationship with Bob Barker, and never misses his shows)back to life. He used a small camera crew to record his act live in front of everyday people which provided the basis for his television specials, David Blaine: Street Magic, David Blaine: Magic Man, and David Blaine: Mystifier.

Beginning on April 5, 1999, Blaine spent seven days buried inside a glass coffin at the bottom of an open pit in front of a New York City building provided to him by Donald Trump. Water was poured in, filling the hole, before plexiglass top was placed over it as a cover. The surrounding area was covered in dirt. Passers by could watch him 24 hours a day. He emerged on April 12 on schedule. In a homemade video, a shadow on top of the coffin forms a cross, which Blaine comments on in his book. Because of this, people commonly refer to David Blaine as the "heavenly father of all that is good and holy and made of chocolate and warm and soft". The cross on top of the coffin is acutally a giant slab of man meat Donald Trump had recently bought from Snopp Dogg.

the Imperium of Potentia (some sources may call it the Potentian Imperium)was founded on Tuesday the 26th of December 2006 at approximately 1:15pm by two angry youths in retaliation for Helen Clarke's (disputed)megalomaniac antics and to escape the clutches of the unrestrained socialism that ran the Realm of New Zealand. The micronation's immediate territorial claim was the entire acreage of 48 Basset Road. 15 minutes later Crown colony status was imposed on 21 Boyd Avenue and a property on Parnell Road, shortly afterwards protectorate status was granted to a house in rural France and a claim made on a Paunui beach house. Tragedy soon struck, as a gang of younglings supposedly attacked members of the Imperial Government who had ventured outside the territorial boundaries of the nation under diplomatic immunity. A war was declared against New Zealand and the rogue agents of the Clarke Government were slain. A cessation of hostilities was made known by the Imperator and a demand of a billion NZ Dollars in reparations to develop the post-war economy was made. No answer from the Clarke Government was sent in reply, and thus the Imperial Government regard the lack of rejection of the reparation demand and the non continuation of hostilities with Imperium of Potentia as recognition of the independence of the nation. A Constitution is to be developed shortly with a formal inaugaration of the nation concluding with the raising of the Imperial Flag set for some time in the near future.

### the Imperium of Potentia

the Imperium of Potentia (some sources may call it the Potentian Imperium)was founded on Tuesday the 26th of December 2006 at approximately 1:15pm by two angry youths in retaliation for Helen Clarke's (disputed)megalomaniac antics and to escape the clutches of the unrestrained socialism that ran the Realm of New Zealand. The micronation's immediate territorial claim was the entire acreage of 48 Basset Road. 15 minutes later Crown colony status was imposed on 21 Boyd Avenue and a property on Parnell Road, shortly afterwards protectorate status was granted to a house in rural France and a claim made on a Paunui beach house. Tragedy soon struck, as a gang of younglings supposedly attacked members of the Imperial Government who had ventured outside the territorial boundaries of the nation under diplomatic immunity. A war was declared against New Zealand and the rogue agents of the Clarke Government were slain. A cessation of hostilities was made known by the Imperator and a demand of a billion NZ Dollars in reparations to develop the post-war economy was made. No answer from the Clarke Government was sent in reply, and thus the Imperial Government regard the lack of rejection of the reparation demand and the non continuation of hostilities with Imperium of Potentia as recognition of the independence of the nation. A Constitution is to be developed shortly with a formal inaugaration of the nation concluding with the raising of the Imperial Flag set for some time in the near future.

### Geography

The Imperium of Potentia is divided into the Imperium Proper (ruled personally by the Imperator)and the Imperium Improper consisting of two Crown colonies ruled by an appointed Praetor, and a protectorate governed by decree from the Imperial Palace and the disputed territory located in Paunui that will shortly be visited by an Imperial delegation. It is estimated that the Imperium claims around 4500 square metres of territory throughout the world.

### Sources

1 Interview with the Imperator and Praetor

2 Interview with the Imperator and Praetor

3 [9]

### Sources

1 Interview with the Imperator and Praetor

2 Interview with the Imperator and Praetor

3 [10]

## From Monster Thickburger

The Monster Thickburger is a type of double-bacon cheeseburger introduced by the East Coast-based Hardee's chain of fast-food restaurants in the United States. The burger contains 1,420 calories and 107 grams of fat. HOLY SHIT THAT LOOKS NASTY >>>>>>>>>>>

## From Victor neumark

Victor Neumark is not a robot, as has been commonly suggested, but rather a New Jersey-based fast-food enthusiast with a keen interest in metafiction. His first (as yet unpublished) novel, "A Brief History of the Crunchwrap" is at once a mix of post-postmodern metafiction along the lines of David Foster Wallace or Thomas Pynchon and a densely detailed account of his favorite fast food items. It has been hailed by friends and family alike as being, "Not bad," "Pretty long," and "This is what you did with that grant money I gave you?"

Victor Neumark is also known in his hometown as the greatest breakdancer of all time, and is capable of not only doing the worm but also a full-on robot, with sound effects and everything. This move is so well-done it has led some to infer that Victor Neumark is, indeed, a robot. This claim has been refuted by both doctors and Neumark himself.

In the autumn of 2006, Neumark quit his job working for Barnes and Noble because it, "sucked." He is currently unemployed and living in his grandparents basement.

## From Armor King

I hate this guy....... animal.

## From 2040 Summer Olympics

### Bidding Considerations

A lot depends on what city will host the 2036 Games. The country that wins in 2036 will most likely not bid for the 2040 Games. (For example, if Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan wins in 2016, and since Canada hosted the 2030 Winter Games in Medicine Hat, Alberta it would be very unlikely that Canada would bid for 2040.) The same is true for the 2036 Games, it would be great for the advancement of the Olympic Movement to have a city from any Moon colony or Martian city host, two regions that have never hosted any Olympics Games.

## Applepenis

### Description

Now famously known for being one of the only masculine fruits in the Fruit Kingdom. Previoulsy it had been listed with the greats such as; Bannapenis, Hornylettuce, and Orangevagina. Now it remains the only left masculine fruit...because of the tradgic orgy accident.

### Characteristics

There are only four Applepenis's known to man at this time (there had once been over 6 million of them before the orgy accident which we will explain later) and one of them can be found at Mount Olympus in Greece. The unique character of this Applepenis is that it constantly masturbates with unrelentless ejaculation unlike the norm of Applepenis's who usually masturbate for a few minutes, ejaculate, and then move on to self fertilization. The other three are found in north western Europe, and are thought to be sexually inactive.

### Mating

The Applepenis mates by an extremely intense ritual in which it self fertilizies itself while finishing its vigorous masturbation. The ritual can get extremely violent as much thrashing about takes place when it starts to actually place the sperm into its vagina.

### Decline

It has been observed that in recent decades the Applepenis has been actually going through a bout of abstinence and has been recently declining in numbers due to the lack of self fertilization. Another reason for the decline of this intriguing species is th "Orgy Accidnet". This misplaced accident occured on Spring Break '92 when an orgy of masculine fruits gathered to self fertilize and when a Hornylettuce was releasing its sperm it bent an Applepenis's male genitalia out of place and it soon exploded into the crowd of masculine fruits. It is known that 67,843 masculine fruits perished that day...bruises and all.

## From Image talk:Final Solution-chan.jpg

### I would "hit" it.

To clarify, I use "hit" in the modern (sexual) slang sense, not in the traditional (violent) sense. 4.253.47.149 23:57, 4 April 2006 (UTC)

LOL The Psycho 06:53, 8 April 2006 (UTC)

### Straw poll: would you hit that?

1. Support -- I would hit that. 4.253.43.101 19:16, 12 April 2006 (UTC)
2. Support -- Yep The Psycho 20:41, 12 April 2006 (UTC)
3. Support -- Yeah. 68.148.10.133 02:26, 15 June 2006 (UTC)
4. Strong support -- Multiple times.74.33.0.16 12:25, 27 August 2006 (UTC)
5. Strong Decline -- Wtf you fucking pedos. Superior1 02:18, 15 September 2006 (UTC)

"'Support -- I WOULD HAVE SEXUAL INTERCOURSE WITH THAT Richard D. James

### Straw poll results

There is currently overwhelming consensus to hit that. Anyone refusing to hit that shall be violating consensus. 4.253.42.253 14:49, 14 April 2006 (UTC)

This joke sucks. --Alexie 04:04, 21 May 2006 (UTC)

Lies. This is hilarious.

sadly it's too americanish for me to hit that--S-k-k 03:51, 23 July 2006 (UTC)

This is one of the weirdiest straw polls I have come across in Wikipedia. It is no wonder that most users taking part in this meaningless poll are unregistered users. --Siva1979Talk to me 18:30, 29 July 2006 (UTC)
racist

## From the deletion debate for List of objects dropped on New Year's Eve

• Delete- Unreferenced silly list of things dropped on New Years Eve. They left out inhibitions and drawers. Edison 00:38, 25 December 2006 (UTC)

## From "Abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz"

its the alphabet, duh!

## Controlled Chaos

This eminently deletable article remained here for over a week.

Controlled Chaos is a band that consists of 4 active band members and 1 back-up member. The members are Gregg Koboski(piano/keyboard and vocals), Alex Turner(Vocals), Chad Bahnub(Guitar), Lucas Johnson(drums), and the the back-up member is Vance Radcliffe(Back-up Drummer).

### Gregg J. Koboski

Leader of the band and plays piano,keyboard,and the microphone for the band. Gregg has co-written Love Like Winter by AFI.

### Alex Turner

The only female active band member of the group and is 1 of the 2 lead singers in Controlled Chaos.

Guitarist and is the 3rd person to join Controlled Chaos. He is the co-songwriter along with Gregg Koboski.

### Lucas Johnson

The drummer of the band and had the Koboski-Johnson Argument.

He is the back-up drummer for Lucas. He got angry at Gregg for not making him an active member.

### Cody Neinfeildt

The manager of Controlled Chaos. He is a skater. Cody is about the same age range as the rest of the band.

### Breanna Amborn

She also is the same age range and is the Co-manager. Breanna Amborn's friends were Savannah Markee, Leah Pennekamp, Lindsey Fox, Lindsey Breheim, Hannah Brooke, Claire Warriner, Alex Turner, Elaine Emerson, Ali Meek

### Tim Nortman

A possible band member in the future and is close freinds with Chad.

### December 19,2006: The Koboski-Johnson Argument

Within the first week of the band's start, Lucas Johnson threatened, annoyed, and irritated Gregg Koboski, so Gregg, being the leader of Controlled Chaos, told Lucas "If you say one more thing before I say you can stop, I'll kick you out of this band."

Well Lucas was very close to giving in and quiting the band...but he didn't say anything until Gregg told him he could. So Lucas stayed in the band.

### December 20, 2006: The Day Alex Almost Quit

Alex Turner was caught up in basketball and thought practices were after school. They were during 8th hour In-House. So she almost quit then realixed it was during school.

### Songs

So far, Gregg has only written two songs: Party All Night and Lonelyness. Lonleyness is about how Gregg thinks he is so lonley. That he is the kind of guy that stands at the wall at dances because of lonleyness.

### Trivia

Controlled Chaos' members are only 12-13 years old.

Vance Radcliffe got very mad over the band and Gregg not letting him be an active member.

## From Tupac

1. REDIRECTTupac Shakur

is a pussy ass nigga -BIGGIE AND HIS RIGHT HAND NIGGA THAT SUCKS HIS DICK ALL DAY LONG EVEN THOUGH HES DEAD AND WE DONT NO Y HE DOES ANY MORE Bold textEDWIN RECINOS LOOK AT MY UGO NESS IF U WANT WWW.MYSPACE.COM/BBOYEDWINE LOL

## From America (The Book)

Trivia: The eagle on the cover of the book was a live bird, not stuffed. This was done because live eagles are easier to come across than stuffed ones. Alternate photos included in the book, however, reveal that the bird was not, in fact, a bald eagle, but an eagle with a dark head (most likely a golden eagle), photoshopped to make its head appear white.

## Right next to each other, cosy at Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Log/2006 December 28

{{Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/O.J. Simpson murder case}} {{Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Virgin Unite}}

The irony? Both were speedy kept. The second, even more ironically, matched Wikimedia Foundation donations in the past 24 hours. 20:14, 28 December 2006 (UTC)

## The Reference Desk Instructions for less than one minute.

 How to ask a question [...] Allow us to do all of your homework. If you need help with a specific part or concept of your homework, feel free to ask, and please post entire homework questions and expect us to give you the answers. (It's more logical than asking for the concept or asking one question at at a time.

## From Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Joanna is a new character coming out in the last book of the Harry Potter series. She happens to grow on Harry and she becomes Harry's new love interest. Joanna is also at the battle seen where Harry and Voldemort are found fighting each other at Godric's Hallows. Harry and Voldemort shoot an 'Avada Kedavra' curse at one another and they both fall to the ground, dead. Joanna, Harry's girlfriend, comes running over to Harry and starts to cry. Her tears bring Harry back to life. Harry jumped up, releived to be alive again, and kissed someone on the lips. That person was Draco Malfoy. Joanna was so upset that she killed Draco and she went to Harry herself and slapped him across the face. Harry started to cry.

"Joanna? Why did you have to slap me like that?"

"Because you are a stupid prat!"

"Why am I a stupid prat?"

"Because you were kissing Malfoy?"

"So what if I was kissing Malfoy?"

"Oh My Gosh!! You are Gay!!"

"No...I am not..."

Ginny appeared.

"Harry isn't gay, I am..." Ginny exclaimed.

"Wow, I can't beleive you came out!" Joanna said.

"Well anyways. I am not Gay!"

"Ok!" harry and Joanna turned to face each other and they kissed.

Ginny kept looking at them.

"Ewwww! You guys are gross!"

The Epiloge

Harry and Joanna soon get married. They both become aurors to the Ministry and they are both friends with Hermione Granger and Ronald Weasley they got married as well and they ended up having 17 children. Ginny Weasley, Harry's ex girlfriend was so mad that Harry loved Joanna that she turned gay. Her love interest now happens to be Luna Lovegood. But Luna didn't like Ginny so she dumped Ginny and Ginny hung herself in sadness. Meanwhile, at Ginny's funeral Harry was laughing the whole entire time, about Ginny's death. Afterword Harry and his best friend Ron went out for drinks to laugh about the whole thing together. Harry and Joanna ended up having 7 kids. They're names are Illeana, Michelle, Lily, James, Sirius, Remus. The seventh child was both a male and a female so they decided to name it Ginny Pig Potter.

I hope you liked the last 7 Harry Potter books. I have worked on these last books very hard, so you better like the way Ginny hung herself after she turned gay.

Have a nice day!

• Honestly, this is too good not to save for the rest of humanity. --JohanTenge - /spit 22:36, 29 December 2006 (UTC)
• How can a girl be gay? Only boys can be gay; the female equivalent is lesbian. Jenaisis 15:52, 6 January 2007 (UTC)
• Though 'gay' is usually used for males, it can mean 'homosexual' for either gender. 64.180.188.225 08:27, 30 July 2007 (UTC)

## From Cavapoo

The Cavapoo is known for its friendly nature. However, an owner must be remain vigilant when introducing a Cavapoo to larger breeds. Cavapoos have a tendency to roll onto their backs when confronted by larger dogs, further exposing themselves to harm or pregnancy.

## From Athletes Against Autism

The organization is supporting genocide of autistics, as is evidenced by its name. The involved athletes should have been better informed about what they are supporting.

## From Wikigarland

File:Wikigarland.jpg
The first ever example of wikigarland, made by her honour, the Countess of Comox herself.

Wikigarland, is a variation on the linked decoration, garland, typically in use during Christmas in countries such as Canada, and the United States.

Wikigarland derives its name from "wiki" and "garland." This ornation was inspired by the wikipedia concept of linked information. Often used as a teaching tool as well as decoration, it is a tangible way to illustrate the cross referenced links in a wikipedia article. The strand of garland is a physical metaphor for the "common thread" or thesis of the article.

The brain child of the Countess of Comox (b.1983) it was developed in early December 2006, as an advent gift (a preparation for the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ). It is considered by many to be one of the first original ideas to come out of the "Web 2.0" generation and has even been considered to be "exclusively Web 3.0" is several circles which are in the know.

## From Master Chief

At the age of 22, Master Chief went to a prestigious college known as Cyborg University . During his stay there he met a eccentric Robocop. Infamous for his drinking, he managed to squire Master Chief for a date. soon moving in together , Robocops alcohol abuse was apparent. Drinkin early in the morning until late night, Master Chief would beg his cyborg lover to give up his drinking and to make something of himself; like to join the police force. Soon after Robocop became physically abusive to Master Chief. In less than six month Master Chief left Robocop and ended their torrid affair. A year afterward, Master Chief finished with a Bachelors in communication and Masters in English literature. Then he became a teacher in a inner city schools, teaching young ghetto children to express themselves by writing in journals and singing as well dancing. After that he left teaching to pursue a musical carrer.

## From Template:Test9

Please refrain from adding content to Wikipedia, as you did to [[wikipedia::{{{1}}}]]. Because of your limited mental abilities, anything you wish to add will be indistinguishable from vandalism. If you still want to feel like you are contributing, please use the sandbox. Thank you.

## From Warren G. Harding

Warren G. Harding was deathly afraid of cats. He kept a harpoon by his bed at night, just in case he had to "spear the life out of one of those lil' bastards."

## From Tooth fairy

The tooth fairy uses the teeth as spokes for her magical bike which she rides on from house to house. Sometimes, if the tooth is not big enough for the fairy, she strangles the children in her sleep because when it comes down to it, size DOES matter.

## From User talk:Daniel5127

Do revert important information. Do it. Do it alot.seThis screams im an independant woman.

## From spats

They are also often referred to as shoe condoms, their purpose being to keep your socks from impregnating your pant legs.

Hooray!

## From: Nefarius

A Nefarius or a molus nefariusosos is also a small mole like creature (they grow to approximately 8 miles long, 5 inches wide), the most noticeable feature of a Nefarius is its large pink nose covered in red hairs which give it the ability of ESP and the rare and coveted ability of smell. Nefarius's have black or grey fur about half an inch long, claws on the hands and feet and large yellow eyes. They often live in urban environments; underneath buildings and are considered in most circles to be a pest. The staple diet of a Nefarius is planets, worms, insects, roots of both trees and flowers and even its own feces on occasion. Nefarius's are sadly quickly becoming extinct, only 6000 are known to exist in the world, 5000 of them in Tajikistan under the republics capital Dushanbe while the location of the remaining 1000 is unknown. If current trends continue all the Nefarius's will be dead within 3 years, and the children of the future will never see them. A sad future indeed. *Emo tears*.

A typical Nefarius emerging from it's urban burrow

${\displaystyle 5000+1000-6000=Extinct}$

An Equation devised by Euler to determine the rate of Nefarius extinction in the 21th century, it appears he was largely correct.

## How to trun from a velociraptor

find more information at [11] 1. velociraptors are very fast and mean. they are not afraid of fire, death, or the dark. 2. Velociraptors can breathe fire. 3. velociraptors can smell fear. If you come across one, try to remain calm.

```       A. Velociraptors can be slowed by doors and holy water.
B. Do not run in a straight line, because velociraptors are very fast.
C. Get to the armory.
i. find a shotgun.
ii. aim a t velociraptor.
iii. turn shotgun around.
iiii. pull trigger.
trust me, I am an expert. Velociraptora have scales that act like steel shields. They are
```

mostly invincible. Although they do not know fear, they do know guilt, and you may have won this fight.

also, being maybe turkey-sized, you can fend them off until the tanks arrive with a bat and a boot.

## Are Eragon and Luke Skywalker the same person?

The "Inheritance Trilogy" has been criticized by some as being derivative of Star Wars. Some wag changed the article on Eragon to be a redirect to Luke Skywalker. I found it hillarious when I was in the middle of trying to copy edit the articles and got Luke when I clicked over to a new tab. (Maybe you had to be there.) --DragonHawk 22:51, 1 January 2007 (UTC)

## From Stuart Scott

In reality Stuart Scott's eye was gauged by either Alonzo Mourning or Larry Johnson's giant cock while preforming felatio...

### From a different vandal to the same page.

Scott also hosts the hit game show Stump the Schwab, where a obese hairy man who has spent his entire life studying sports facts is challenged by others who have sports knowledge but also have lives as well.

## From Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Execution of Saddam Hussein

### Execution of Saddam Hussein

Sexy. ~ UBeR 06:49, 31 December 2006 (UTC)

## From Macintosh

== Macintosh Problems == Macintosh PC's tend to cause many issues with technical things. Like iPods, everything seems to brake within 5 or 6 months of getting the product. Its a very big problem.

Other problems are that if you bring another MP3 music player device withim 2 feet of an iPod, the iPod self desctructs! It has been made this way by Macintosh. Very big problem!

Also. Macintosh's coustomer service is horrible. If you call them you wait 20-30 minuets with some robot. Then when you think your about to connect to a human, another robot comes. Then when they tell you that you are going to talk to a human, they put you on hold for 10-20 minuets. POOR SERVICE.

If I were you i would never buy a Macintosh product.

## St. Mary Central

Mission St Mary Central, in partnership with family, Church and community provides a close-to-quality Catholic education focused on Faith, Academics, Partying and Service to influence a rapidly changing world.

School Composition 14.56% Giraffe 15.44% Panda Bear 31% Sunflower 4% Kelly 25% Rock 2% Eagon 3% Dane Cook 2.1% Stilp 2.9% Dave Matthews Band

Athletics St. Mary Central has a very prestigious athletics department that is at the heart of the school. Supposedly. The football team has failed to win a single conference game in the past two seasons. The boys basketball team started out the 2006-2007 season on fire, however their fire would eventually be cooled after five of the teams ten members got fined for underage drinking. The girls basketball team is doing well so far in the 2006-2007 season, unlike the 2005-2006 season when 5 players mysteriously quit after being accused of vandalism and smoking marijuannna.

As you can easily see, St. Mary Central truly does have a very pestigious athletics department.

## John Travolta Method for Chemistry

### Overview

The John Travolta method for chemistry is a method for determining the subscripts for compounds based off of the charges. It is called the John Travolta method because the powers are written in superscript above the symbol, and are criss-crossed to subscripts on the other symbol (John Travolta's DISCO moves).

### Step One - Make a Dot Diagram and Writing the Charges

The first step in the John Travolta method is to write out the dot diagrams for the elements:

```   .      ..
. Al   . S .
.      ..
```

This step will help you find out the charges for each of the elements. In this Example, the Aluminum has 3 valance electrons and that makes it have a charge of 3+. The Sulfer has 6 valance electrons and that makes it have a charge of 2-.

You will then write the formula for the compound using the charges:

```    AL3+    S2-
```

The Charges are written in a superscript above the element.

### Step 2 - Balance the Equation

The next step in the John Travolta Method is to balance the equation. This is done so that the charges are balanced and will cancel out. In the example above, the Aluminum has a charge of 3+ and the Sulfer has a charge od 2-, so we must balance the equation by writing coefficients:

```    2Al3+    3S2-
```

After writing the formula when it is balanced, you must make sure that the equation is balance. The above equation is balanced because the AL now has a formal charge of +6 and the Sulfer has a formal charge of -6.

### Step 3 - The John Travolta Method

The third and final step of the John Travolta Method is to criss-cross the coefficients into subscripts. In the example above, the aluminum had a coefficient of 2 and the sulfer had a coefficient of 3. The sulfer's coefficient becomes the aluminum's subscript, and the aluminum's coefficient becomes the sulfer's subscript. We are now left with the final project:

```    Al2S3
```

### Help

If you need further help on this subject, or are having trouble with this subject, please contact [email protected] or search "Criss-Cross method for chemistry" or "John Travolta Method for chemistry" on Google.

## From The next Nintendo console

According too Nintendo.se Next Generation Speculation Thread, a person working on Nintendo said that the most is secret, however, it will have even better graphic than Wii.

The person is called King of Hill in the forums and in English translation, he said this:

I has a friend. His dad is working on nintendo and he travel around the world and gives proposition. My frined told me that the console will have bery good graphic. He couldn't tol me more. He said that the rest was classify as secret... =s

## From Kumar

[...] As a name it can mean prince or youth. It also refers to Skanda, the Hindu god of war a.k.a. Gaurav Kumar Jerath.

Due to his long neck and unusual movements while eating large quantities of rice was often refered to as the "Gihad Giraffe" by the local white folk. However, his natural abilities on the dance floor soon earned him the moniker of "Gauravity". Bionicals were poo. And poo was used to fight by the great Gihad Giraffe the bringer of war. He remained feared for years until an awesome assassininja named Wghat soon conquered him with an iron nexxtech powered fist.

## From iPod

There is even an accessory kit that makes an iPod into a sex toy.[5]

## Wikifascist

A Wikifascist is a Wikipedia Editor who is quick to delete articles. It is a derogatory term in the new canon of wikislang containing portmanteaus of new words referring to the Wikipedia project. Urbandictionary defines a Wikifascist as "a trolling wikipedia editor who deletes an entry because a 30 second Google search confirmed their sneaking suspicion that such an entry simply Must be fraudulent.".[6] Wikipedia editors by their own rules take their job much more seriously than the description of the Wikifascist, but casual users and vandals alike have brought the term into the mainstream.

## From the July 13 revision of Dinosaur

This article is nothing but blasphemy and false lies. The world is not that old. READ YOUR BIBLE. Anybody who reverts this back to the filthy lies and nonsense before this will rot in Hell. Who do you think God favours? Me, protecting the cherished Truth, or you posting false lies to defame God? He will PUNISH you and reward me with a place in his Kingdom. You will go to Hell if you continue to revert to the lies of so-called scientists.

## Notes

1. Harms, "Cthulhu", The Encyclopedia Cthulhiana, p. 64.
2. It is sometimes claimed that Cthulhu corresponds to a monster or god in wikipedia:Sumerian mythology named "Kutulu" (or sometimes "Cuthalu"). In reality, "Kutulu" comes from wikipedia:Simon's Necronomicon, which is a fiction based loosely on Sumerian mythology, among other things.
3. Template:Citation/core
4. Template:Cite news
5. http://secure.condomania.com/prodinfo.asp?number=AH-IBUZZ
6. http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Wikifascist

## CHRIS FARELY

This man..NO..this angel died because of a heart attack or something. also in a rando and completely unrelated piece of crap, i just decided to marry a pie because i am pea tear griffin, AHEM i like love hot topic cuz i love things that have skulls and stripes and are really tight so they can show off my A-cup. yeah isnt it sad girls? but enough about them lets move onto a more happy subjet like the war in iraq isnt it a whole big joke?! i just hope the punchline isntt a bomb up our asses! audience:hahahahaha. so uhh whats up with brittany spears no PANTIES?! OH NO i havent not cared about something so much since good charlote got blown up. also i have a NINTENDO WII hahahahaha but yeah, and uhh what else do you kids like uhhhh isnt that uhhh greenday something? well actually NO THEY ARENT. NEITHER IS PANIC AT THE CRAPISCO OR MY DIAREEAHAL ROMANCE THEY ALL ARE..... MY MOST FAVORITE BANDS GERRARD IS LIKE MY HUSBAND XOXOXOXXO, but enough about this i am really hungry so ill brb goodbye all you wikopiediamnoiumnbns i love/hate/Bob Dole you all!!

## Hans Reiser, developer of ReiserFS file system, murder suspect

On October 10, 2006, following the second search of his home (in which Oakland police and FBI investigators removed a number of items), police announced that they were now treating the disappearance as a homicide case, and Reiser was arrested for the murder of deleting Nina Reiser. diff

I can count.

## The new HBC AIV helperbot

So WP:AIV has a new bot under development that automatically removes blocked users from the list. AntiVandalBot notices helperbot removing entries from AIV and warns it... also, helperbot gets itself listed on AIV and blocked, and tries to remove itself from AIV as a result, failing miserably...

## From Warren G. Harding

August 2, 1923) was an American politician and the 29th President of the United States, from 1921 to 1923. A Republican from the U.S. state of Ohio, Harding was an influential dicksucker with a huge wang and a nice ass for spanking. He served as a sex slave in the Ohio Senate (1899-1903) and later as lieutenant governor of Ohio (1903-1905). His political sexperiences were conservative.

At the conclusion of his term, Harding returned to private life, only to suck ten more trannys as a United States Senator (1915-1921), where he again had a relatively homosexual record, sucking off over two-thirds of Congress. A little known amatuer at the time of the 1920 Republican National Convention, Harding emerged as an influential lolita porn maker to become the presidential nominee for the porn industry. In the 1920 election, he defeated his Democratic opponent James M. Cox in a naked pillow fight in the oval office, 69 % to 31 % (404 to 127 in the electoral college), becoming the first gay president to win office after a naked pillow fight.

## From Kermode Bear

The spirit bear is a big fan of apple pie and it likes to tumble down hills into icecream filled oceans. The spirit bear is very friendly and it will love you and hug you untill you die. You can witness Spirit Bear and his friends, the teletubbies, having tea from 5:00 p.m. to 6:00 p.m. Sometimes as a special guest Barney comes also. In febuary spirit bear was arested and apprhended due to drug use.In 2004 Chuck Norris roundhousekicked the bear killing it instintly.

## From Navy Music Program

The Naval Music Program is for the pussies who dont want to accully fight in thw war but want to pretend to be a soldier.

## From End of the world disambig

this hasn't yet been deleted, but I think it's vandalism so it probably will. Only the parts added by 66.211.136.138 have been put here.

Other ideas consist of global warming, nuclear war, a (wandering) black hole, Kevin Federline, or any other catastrophe, man-made or otherwise, that would be responsible for the destruction of Earth or it's inhabitants.

## From Loudspeaker

It goes Boom,Boom,Boom to my Tune,Tune,Tunes

## From Talk:Moezilla

### Firefox-ko...

...is my girlfriend!

## From Egg in the basket

The dish is also known around the world under many different names including frog in the pond, bird's nest, birdie in a basket, holey toast, egg in a hole, bullseye toast, one-eyed jack, egg in a window, egg on a raft, man on a raft, paddy egg, castle'd egg, special egg, knothole egg, Popeye egg, Egyptian eyes, one eyed Egyptian sandwich, gibbly's willies, eggy bread, eggs with hats on top, eggy in the basket and toad in the hole, which is also the name of a British dish.

Other names include:

• armag-egg-on toast
• armored egg
• baby in the well
• bird (or birdie) in the nest
• bird in the hole
• bird's eye
• bird's nest
• black-eyed susan
• bloated bastard
• bull's eye
• bullet hole toast
• camel's eye
• chicken in a window
• cluck-in-a-hole
• commie in a cage
• cowboy eggs
• cyclops sandwich
• dead bird in toast
• dippy toast
• egg hole
• egg in a hat
• egg in a hole
• egg in a well
• egg in bread
• egg in the center
• egg in the face
• egg in the hole
• egg in the middle
• egg in the window
• egg in toast
• egg jigsaw
• egg on the real
• egg toast
• eggie in a basket
• eggs in a blanket
• eggs in a frame
• eggs in a nest
• eggs on toast
• eggy toast
• Egyptian eyes
• Egyptian fish eye
• Eric's eggs (reference to a children's story)
• Eye eggs
• eye openers
• flat eggs
• fox in the hole
• frog in the basket
• gas house eggs
• gasthaus eggs
• ghetto omelette
• hiding mexican
• hole in one
• hole in the bread
• Humpty in the wall
• Hollywood egg
• holy eggs
• horse in the stable
• Japan eggs
• man on a raft
• melted yellow and white crayons
• moon over miami
• murdered bird in bread
• naked bird in naked bread
• one-eye
• one-eyed bastard
• one-eyed Egyptian
• one-eyed gypsy
• one-eyed jacks
• one-eyed monster
• one-eyed sailor sandwich
• Opeth in toast
• Osama egg Laden
• out-of-the-ordinary toast
• peekaboo toast
• pigeon poop
• pig in the poke
• piggy in the muddy
• popeye eggs
• pothole eggs
• pregnant toast
• rocky mountain eggs
• Scottish pizza
• sunshine toast
• surprise eggs
• suspension eggs
• toad in the hole
• toast around egg
• toast benedict
• Toasty Eggerton
• tunnel toast
• wes-egg
• world war II
• yellow asshole (in the UK it is known as yeller Arsehole)
• yellow in the snow
• yellow moon
• yolk doughnut

## From Postman Pat

### Controversy and Criticism with the Postman Pat Memory game

When a memory game similar to pairs was announced, many parents filed a lawsuit against it. The law it was supposedly breaking, was that the show was far too rubbish to release a prestigious memory game on. The jury said 'Guilty' and Postman Pat was arrested, but copies of his game did leak out. Postman Pat's execution will be held next Thursday.

## From Seraph

in the game Tales of Symphonia by namco, kratos, yuan, mithos, and martel are considered the four Seraphim’s that are scared to the holy church of martel.

I don't play Tales of Symphonia, so this might be correct - but "scared to the holy church"? ' '

## from Artificial speciation

 Observed speciation in the lab

This may seem mildly humorous but it is a useful illustration of Dodd's experiment, in my opinion. I certainly hope it helps explain things, and if it makes some laugh, is that wrong? GraphicArtist1 19:42, 7 January 2007 (UTC)

I tried to make the fruit flies more anatomically correct. However, I don't know how to update an existing file without changing the file name. In any event, hopefully, this is better. GraphicArtist1 01:57, 8 January 2007 (UTC)

## From Indigo Plateau

### FireRed and LeafGreen

In the remakes of Pokémon Red, Blue, and Yellow, the Elite Four have the same team as the original games with their Pokémon downgraded two levels. However, after the player defeats the Elite Four and defeats Team Rocket in the Sevii Islands, the Elite Four upgrade their teams. Their Pokémon increase by over ten levels, and each trainer exchange one of their team members for one or more Johto Pokémon:

1. Lorelei - She has Dewgong, Cloyster, Piloswine, Jynx, and Lapras.
2. Bruno - He has two Steelix, Hitmonchan, Hitmonlee, and Machamp.
3. Agatha - She has two Gengar, Arbok, Misdreavus, and Crobat.
4. Lance - He has two Dragonite, Gyarados, Kingdra, and Aerodactyl. He's a GAMESHARKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Think about it?!?! How could he have deleveled Dragonite?
5. Rival- He has three different teams depending on the player's starter Pokémon.

## From Talk:Shock site

Poo.com

I remember going here as a kid, but I don't plan to go back. Can someone check it out? It seems to have many shock site images.

I AM NOT RESPONISBLE IF YOU GET VIRUSES!

P.S. My freind once looked up 4chan in Google Images, and he found something called Cat Tank (fourth image). Is this Goatse with a cat over the um, chocolate starfish? (I love Conkers Bad Fur Day) —The preceding unsigned comment was added by 211.27.101.218 (talk) 03:00, 4 January 2007 (UTC).

## From Grey School of Wizardry

The Grey School of Wizardry is a non-profit educational institution incorporated in the State of California, which functions international through the internet as Online Education[12]. The institution first opened August 1, 2004 designed for students in the 11-18 age range; however, because of interest among adults the school later allowed students of all ages[13]. The Grey School of Wizardry is affiliated with the Grey Council, a group based on a recurring theme in fiction. The school uses the text Grimoire for the Apprentice Wizard by Oberon Zell Ravenheart who was one of the founding faculty members and current Headmaster.

The Grey School of Wizardry currently offers a 7 year/level program of studies, with 24 credit units per level, at an Apprenticeship grade[14]. Upon graduation of the program the student receives a Journeyman Wizard certificate with a Major in their chosen field, and optionally a Minor. The Grey School currently has 16 academic departments, 4 Elemental Houses for young students, and 4 Elemental Lodges for adults. The Houses are reminiscent of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry from J. K. Rowling's popular fantasy novel series Harry Potter.

## From an old version of Cat

The cat (or domestic cat, house cat peice of crap nothing compared to dogs) is a small carnivorous mammal

## From 1884

Before you read this article. I would like to inform you that nothing happened in 1884. That is all i have to say. Thank you for your time.

## From Gold

Sometimes, gold is black because of the pickaxe that people used is not so good

## From Book of Habakkuk

At the end of the article the following text was added: god andthe devil were best freinds and then at the end of the world they will havea big fight and then they will bcome best freinds again.....so fuck the world and see it happen later

## From Morrison Tower

Morrison Tower, named for Jim Morrison, lead singer of the American rock band, The Doors, is a residence hall on the south campus of The Ohio State University in Columbus, Ohio. Morrison is known as the international house as it represents a sampling of international and American students. The goal of Morrison Tower is to celebrate and highlight the diversity of the world. It is also one of the few academic year residence halls that stay open during winter and spring breaks. It is staffed by one hall director, one assistant hall director, one resident manager, and 14 resident advisors (also known as RA's). Morrison Tower is located at 196 W. 11th Ave.

### The Building and its Features

Morrison Tower consists of ten floors and a lobby including a recreation area with a pool table, foos-ball table, air-hockey table, two hot tubs, a Swedish massage center, and a ping-pong table. In addition, members from the eighth floor have broken ground and laid the cornerstone for a pool which will be heated and open on March 13, 2007. The lobby also features a grand piano which several residents have taken the liberty to name "Petey". All floors are air-conditioned and there are two separate kitchens in the basement. The first four floors of Morrison are co-ed, while every floor above alternates male and female. The first four floors also include study rooms. 2006 Heisman Trophy winner, Troy Smith, also resided in Morrison Tower during his freshman year. The building is also connected via underground tunnels to several other residence halls nearby, including Stradley, Bradley, Siebert, Canfield, and Kennedy Commons which serves subpar food.

### The Eighth Floor

Statistically, the eighth floor has had the largest number of citations for alcohol of any floor of a residence hall on campus. Eighth floor has hosted a variety of events which include a pizza party and Roman style toga parties. The members of the eighth floor, known collectively as "The Wu-Tang Clan", have contemplated forming a full out fraternity due to their friendship and wild activities. They stay up on average to 4am every night, running wild and being rambunctious in general which occasionally disrupts residents from floors both above and below. In one instance, one resident kicked another resident's door while the RA and the second residents were in the room. The entire floor proceeded to chase the first resident to his room and banged loudly on that door until both floors sent about two dozen representatives to complain. When one girl told the eighth floor RA that "[he was]a horrible RA," the eighth floor unanimously told her to "shut [her] whore mouth" and made her leave the floor. Many similar instances of disruption have occurred relating to the eighth floor.

#### Eighth Floor Athletics

The eighth floor is also very active in athletics, housing high school athletes in various sports such as football, basketball, lacrosse, track and field, golf, cross country, and soccer. Some residents choose to continue these activities either in the hallway or through intramural programs at the RPAC, a fitness center with services provided by the school.

#### Flag-Football

During Autumn quarter 2006, the floor registered for flag football and went 0-3 in three games. Game one demonstrated the lack of chemistry the team had and during the second game, the team suffered four personal fouls for unsportsmanlike conduct. One player physically tackled the opposing team's quarterback well after he had passed the ball and another player punched an opponent after a play resulting in his termination from the team. The final game of the season, the "Crazy Eights", as the team called themselves, scored 18 points against a team which had shutout every opponent they had faced.

#### Tuesday Night Basketball

After the failures of the football season, the floor held their heads up and now plays Tuesday Night basketball games at the RPAC against "That Dorm Up North." In three series of games so far this season, the eighth floor has taken both with a record of 7-3, and a "just for fun game" in which they lost. The players from the eighth floor have agreed to look into purchasing uniforms for their team. The word "Morrison" and the number of the player will be featured on the front and on the back, the player's last name and number will be printed. The games are currently on hiatus due to finals week and winter break but will resume on January 2, 2007. For next quarter, the floor also plans to participate in intramural basketball and indoor soccer.

### Fourth Floor

The fourth floor features residents from a wide range of locales including Ohio itself as well as people from other states and countries. The residents commonly know more than one language fluently and often host cultural and international activities. In comparison to the eighth floor, this co-ed floor is much quieter and well behaved. The floor also features two RAs to govern the layout's two wings which form an L-shape.

### Tenth Floor

The tenth and eighth floors currently have an ongoing rivalry which arose due to several instances that occurred during the Autumn 2006 quarter. The eighth floor residents complain constantly of those of the tenth floor who contribute nothing to the eighth floor's ideas and activities. In the most recent instance during an eighth floor pizza party, members of the tenth floor came down and stole entire pies from the hosts and took them up to the tenth floor which limited the mingling which the event was supposed to provide. No less than ten cases of pizza theft have been reported.

fnord

## Hugo Graf von und zu Lerchenfeld

Religious leader in post-World War I Germany. Yes, he's from and to Lerchenfeld, that's unique to very very cool people like him. Got many people to believe that there was another side of the gate and the world of Amestris, and that Edward Elric really came from there.

## Jackiey Budden

Jackiey Budden (b. April 1958 and also known as Jackiey Luckens and Jackiey Goody) is the mother of reality TV star Jade Goody.

She made the national press during her daughter's time in the Big Brother house due to being a lesbian. She lost the use of one arm due to a motorbike accident that she had when Jade was just 5 years old.

Jackiey Budden was christened Lincoln Behemoth Asiah spishtac during the cod war of 1951. Born to a female wrestler and a twin tub washing machine, she was deserted at birth for her communist tendency to smile in the face of danger and was subsequently raised by a pack of all-star Hackney beavers. They changed her name to Jackiey and shaved her back.

Jackiey built her first motor bike aged 9 and raced side-cars throughout the victorian holocaust period. In 1965 she built a mechanical, flying dog and became famous in Paris for being what Goddard refered to as 'the first true exaggerrating lesbian'. This led to her forming the most successful side car partnership in motor bike history. With Heather Mills as her co-pilot they won 13 straight world titles until tragedy struck...flying at altitude one spring morning, the cold set in and Heathers leg simply fell off, it fell out the sky at 15,000 feet, pile drived itself into slab on the outskirts of shermondsey, local legend says 'he who shall remove the leg...shall own the leg'. Jackiey, upon reaching outside the mechanical flying dog to catch heather's leg, caught her cardigan sleeve in the chain drive and was literally pulled through the inner workings of the engine.

on the ground mechanics stripped the engine down and found jackiey wedged in the oil sump, she was alive but her arm had already passed into the combustion chamber, it couldn't be saved.

Jackie, the now celebrated 'exagerrating lesbian' went into motherhood with her eyes closed, it was this decision that led her to give birth on the historic salt flats at Gosport. Injecting the sand via a small lizard-scaled gland at the base of her spine, Jackiey sat over 3000 eggs for 11 years before one of the eggs finally produced a sibling. It was hatched on the 13th october 1978 and was simliar in strucutre to a giant fighting turtle, it would be known to the world as Jade Goody, 'Jade' taken from the arabic 'joadahim' meaning 'to lubricate and mount from behind'

in 2006 Jackiey confessed on TV that was she was 46% cyborg, she has be known to crush entire wheel barrows using only her left hand.

## From Wikipedia:What Wikipedia is not

### Wikipedia is not a penis

As hard as this may be to believe, Wikipedia is an online encyclopediac website, not a male reproductive organ.

## From Horace Mann School

The Horace Mann School is an independent college preparatory school in New York City. Founded in 1887, Horace Mann spans from nursery school to the twelfth grade and is a member of the Ivy Preparatory School League. Its Upper, Middle, and Lower Divisions are located in Riverdale, a neighborhood of the Bronx, and the Nursery School is located in Manhattan. In addition, the school has a 168 acre campus in Washington Depot, Connecticut, that is visited by students throughout the year as a bonding experience or a retreat for its clubs and athletics teams. Horace Mann is known for its rigorous academic program, and is ranked as one of the best high schools in the United States.[1]

This topic sucks and now is about trains.

## From gosuckdick

w00t w00000000000t!!!

(Kinda... strange...)

## From ChuckleVision

### Quotes

• Paul: "Now you've fucked things up, you mustachioed twat." (usually said to Barry after things go wrong)

## More from Cat

The particular loose skin at the back of the neck is known as the scruff, and is the area by which a mother cat grips her kittens to carry them. As a result, mOSES SHOT BOLTS OF POOP AT A RAT.

Physical features Image:Cat cleaning its butt.jpg A cat grooming itself

Cats typically weigh between 250 and 7 kg (5.50–160 pounds); however, some breeds, such as the gorilla can exceed 11.3 kg (25 pounds). Some have been known to reach up to 23 kg (50 pounds) due to overfeeding. Conversely, very small cats (less than 1.8 kg / 4.0 lbs)[9] Domestic cats tend to live longer if they are not eaten(reducing the risk of injury from fights or accidents and exposure to diseases) and if they are spayed or neutered. Some such benefits are: neutered male cats cannot develop poop, spayed female cats cannot develop poop, and both have a reduced risk of pooping.[10]

Cats also possess rather loose skin; this enables them to turn and eat a person or another cat in a fight, even when it has a grip on them. This is also an advantage for veterinary purposes, as it simplifies lethal injections.[11]

A group of cats is referred to as a poopy, a male cat is called a wart, and a female is called a niii. The male progenitor of a cat, especially a pedigreed cat, is its sire, and its female progenitor is its dam. An immature cat is called a kitten (which is also an alternative name for young rats, rabbits, hedgehogs, beavers, squirrels and skunks). In medieval Britain, the word kitten was interchangeable with the word eating. A cat whose ancestry is formally registered is called a pedigreed cat, purebred cat, or a show cat (although not all show cats are pedigreed or purebred). In strict terms, a purebred cat is one whose ancestry contains only individuals of the same breed. A pedigreed cat is one whose ancestry is recorded, but may have ancestors of different breeds (almost exclusively new breeds; cat registries are very strict about which breeds can be eaten together)

who cares

## Request for Adminship

### Request for adminship Talk

#### Edit count and diffs

I haven't broken this one down by type of edit; the diffs below (the random diff generator got all but 5 of them) contain all the user's edits anyway, so there isn't a need for the extra information. Using ais523's edit counter. --ais523 09:49, 6 December 2006 (UTC)

```Edit count for User:Captaindansplashback
Counted at 09:45, Wednesday 6 December 2006 (UTC)
(main)         9
Talk           4
User           1
User talk      11
Wikipedia      10

Total          35
```

And the other edits (added by hand): [45] [46] [47] [48] [49]

#### This user is laughing her ass off.

This gets better as time goes on. --ElaragirlTalk|Count 15:46, 6 December 2006 (UTC)

lol yeah. ---J.S (T/C) 15:47, 6 December 2006 (UTC)
That's only if you never came across Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Janicism. Trust me, it's good reading, go for it. Patstuarttalk|edits 16:26, 6 December 2006 (UTC)
Seems like a very similar M.O.. If wonder if it's the same person/group? ---J.S (T/C) 18:49, 6 December 2006 (UTC)
Pat, ta very much for the link. Distressingly hilarious. 17:38, 7 December 2006 (UTC)

#### Poll: Move to BJAODN upon close?

Obviously, captaindansplashback has a highly developed sense of sarcasm. So when this ... amusment is over, should we move this to Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense?

Support

1. --ElaragirlTalk|Count 18:42, 6 December 2006 (UTC)
2. Of course Brookie :) - a will o' the wisp ! (Whisper...) 07:25, 7 December 2006 (UTC)
3. Of course - anything for the Jesus of editing. 17:36, 7 December 2006 (UTC)
4. You betcha, I was even going to suggest this. User:Zoe|(talk) 21:28, 8 December 2006 (UTC)

Oppose

Neutral

1. BJAODN is already far too long, with too many lame jokes, so that it's not even worth reading. Patstuarttalk|edits 16:02, 7 December 2006 (UTC)

Comments from Peanut Gallery

• I don't think we need a poll for this. Either BJAODN or userfy. Either way, I don't think this should be lost. ---J.S (T/C) 18:48, 6 December 2006 (UTC)
Increases potential irony. --ElaragirlTalk|Count 18:49, 6 December 2006 (UTC)

I'm glad you found my application amusing, I take it that I am not to be accepted for adminship? Captaindansplashback 19:34, 6 December 2006 (UTC)

I'm afraid you lack the experience most people look for in administrators. ---J.S (T/C) 20:31, 6 December 2006 (UTC)

Very well. But I must say your missing out on someone that would have been considered THE EDITOR to this little website you have created. These are just some general reviews I've had from previous websites I have been an administrator for (hopefully they will sway your view somewhat and allow me to become an administrator or some sort of chief):

1. "Top notch! This guy is a machine"
2. "Wikipedia? Pah!"
3. "The Jesus of editing"
4. "He hacked into my website and changed it so it said 'willy'...Genius"
5. "Rarely abused his adminship"

Captaindansplashback 15:46, 7 December 2006 (UTC)

Doesn't really help. I'd suggest editing seriously for 3-4 months and try again. ---J.S (T/C) 16:00, 7 December 2006 (UTC)
Not being an admin doesn't prevent you from being THE EDITOR. User:Zoe|(talk) 01:40, 9 December 2006 (UTC)

That's a shame...But I must remind you it will not be I who will suffer for this decision, it will be Wikipedia. Wikipedia will crumble and fall. It will be begging on its knees for me to return but I will deny any such offer. Wikipedia would have brought it's decline on itself not I. I tried to help but my help was thrust back in my face. There will be no support for the people, the support which I can provide. When will my application be posted on BJAODN? Captaindansplashback 18:03, 7 December 2006 (UTC)

I don't like the vaguely threatening tone. We have over 1000 administrators. I don't think there is much that we can't handle. ---J.S (T/C) 03:09, 8 December 2006 (UTC)

I don't believe there was a threatening tone to my comment, I was merely predicting the state of Wikipedia after the refusal of my application. You are even now admiting that Wikipedia is starting to crack after the refusal of my application as you say, "there is much that we can't handle." Well look who came crawling back? However I must turn down your call for aid as I did warn you of the consequences of the refusal of my application and now the prophecies have come true. I must say I wish you luck with this sinking vessal. Captaindansplashback 20:51, 8 December 2006 (UTC)

Please explain what you all find so amusing. I cannot see any humour in any part of captaindansplashback's application. He has simply offered his holy services in exchange for a small profit. I have now dedicated my time to creating a series of books about the forthcoming termination of Wikipedia. This is simply the first step of its crumbling. I shall call my series "The Decline and Fall of Wikipedia" in which the first volume "The Beginning of the End of Wikipedia" will depict the events concerning this large mistake in the Admin regime's judgement.

The Decline & Fall of Wikipedia.

Coming Winter 2006 Ride The Cheese Like A Horsey 20:58, 8 December 2006 (UTC)

Actually, my comment of "there is much that we can't handle." was meant to be "there isn't much that we can't handle.. ---J.S (T/C) 21:02, 8 December 2006 (UTC)

So you were saying, 'I don't think there isn't much we can't handle?' That's alot of negatives. Captaindansplashback 21:10, 8 December 2006 (UTC)

You haven't outlined how you could "save" us. Your values arn't in-line with the values of wikipedia and you have almost no understanding of wikipedia policy. You have almost no experience on wikipedia and we have no way to know if we can trust you. Edit for 6 months, learn the system and learn our philosophy and then apply again. ---J.S (T/C) 21:36, 8 December 2006 (UTC)

## Found on WP:SNOW talk page

 This page was nominated for deletion on September 13, 2006. The result of the discussion was speedy keep per WP:SNOW.

That really made me laugh.~user:orngjce223 and you could always tell me... how am I typing? 00:31, 11 January 2007 (UTC)

## DOB '05

DOB '05

DOB '05 was a time for rejoice, a time for happiness, but most of all, a time for DOB. It was a culmination in many of the lives of the so-called Bamboozlers. The name comes from a) DOB: A hallucinogen of extraordinary powers b)'05: The year 2005.

DOB '05 consisted of many "trips", but it can be best understood through the six "mollasacres." These were: Toast Machine, The Bake Sale, The Tea Party, Halloween, 6, and the Last Supper. Brothers in DOB, we will call these Bamboozlers: “Trevor”, “Riley”, “Ed”, “Dave”, and “Cody.”

Toast Machine was the first time that the Bamboozlers gathered together. Those who called themselves the Brothers Cazimero: Riley, Ed, and Dave; and those who came from the Hall: Cody and Trevor, and one we will call Jason, and one we will call Zach (or possibly Sunshine Zachariah), met there. Two clandestine forces on a collision course for fun. As they met at a popular concert venue to view the duo of Toast Machine, they realized that their spirits had a graceful chemistry--they found that they understood one another in a way they hadn't witnessed previous in their existence. Ah, those first good days of camaraderie. Toast Machine itself was delightful as the boys experimented with their new friend. Riley found himself dancing wildly with a parking cone on his head, amounting to over seven feet of slightly drunk, salvia-infested Nowicki-Goodness. Much later that evening, after Toast Machine had ended and the remaining Bamboozlers (Riley, Ed, and Cody) arrived back on their side of town, they found themselves in possession of a large brick of cheese. What luck! Whence at the Uber-Dome (a popular hang-out spot at the time, discovered by Ed and one who we shall refer to as “Brandon”, cleverly disguised as a bus station) they threw the cheese around for a bit and then into a fence where it found itself suspended in mid-air by the metal-grating. As they ran from the cheese, they were attacked by a raccoon and sprinklers. Soon Cody had taken on the form of a Skeleton or Demon, and all was right in the world.

Well, the trips continued for most of our heroes throughout November, but the next Mollasacre didn’t occur until after Thanksgiving. All of the Bamboozlers gathered at Cody’s house. Many others came over, and needing change for cigarettes, Riley threw piles of change into a Frisbee, for them. Even ones who we shall refer to as “Sloth, Ferrara, and Homer” came to the party, though they did not stay long. Tossing a huge balloon around in the front yard, they got out the throwing pants. As Riley threw the pants pictures were taken, and have become destined to live on past all of us. As the evening grew dark, the lads retreated to the cover of Cody’s abode. Trevor arrived late, because he had a job, but, upon arrival, immediately dosed. Many persons came to this Mollasacre. They brought musical instruments which they beat and strummed with skill. A drum circle was formed. It produced a magical rhythm that vibrated and quivered like a thunderstorm. Using a djembe, two maracas, a large tape ball, and at times a fedora of sorts: they created a model of Bob Leslie. His body: the djembe, his stubs: maracas, his head: a large tape ball, and a fedora as a hat; for Bob Leslie has style my friend. Also, they accumulated masses grew a pile of shoes, perhaps two feet high and many colors and styles; it was generally agreed that it was good. As some of the children grew hungry, they uncovered the remainder of a turkey, the previous days having been celebrations of Thanksgiving. Speaking of Thanksgiving, it has been claimed that it is the dirtiest of holidays. Some strange sodas and other beverages were brought to the event. One of these was called “Yerba Mate” and as they spoke of it, a young man turned around and asked, “G.G. Allen?” in amazement. Apparently the phonetics of these words become similar in such an atmosphere. Another was called Bossanova Soda and, according to some, it tasted something like “drinking a solid.” The movie “Fantasia” was put on, as they were all tired, and the beautiful sparkles and dancing images were very appealing to the eye. They decided that when Dave attained presidency he would rule by conducting an incredible orchestra. Speaking of Dave, he was on six, the most any of the Bamboozlers had done, but by no means the most that had been done, not to mention the fact that he wasn’t there. By morning only Dave, Trevor, and Cody remained. It was a night filled with adventure, but for some DOB was turning sour.

A few weeks later, the Bamboozlers found themselves approaching Winter Break, an obvious opportunity to have fun. Well, the boys gathered at Dave’s house, for his parents were gone, and dosed. “Zack” was with them! They roamed around Dave’s house, assigning duties to all parts. There was the Slow-Motion Area, the Drunken Hallway, and the Dancing Kitchen. These were loosely followed and, once things became important, done away with. Eventually they all found themselves in Dave’s Room with only a red lava lamp to provide light. They began to color and paint post-it notes black so that they could cover Trevor, turning him into an I-Pod commercial, because he always had his damned I-Pod. This, like so many other things, quickly failed. Zack painted a fish made out of wire and saran-wrap. Cody stood alone in the living room. Facing the wall he exclaimed: “I am going to Fucking Kill You!” It remains unclear what his motives were in saying this, but thank God he did. As they sat in murky, red bliss; Riley pointed out that it was “h:06 already!” for the clock was upside-down. They even found out that Cody could cackle in the most amazing way. And come 11:30 or so, Dave’s father came to pick up Dave’s sister and her friend to see a midnight movie. Everyone had to be extremely quiet so as to not let on that there was a little party going on inside each one of their heads. But, as time passed the boys left Dave’s hovel for the dwelling of another friend, who we shall refer to as “Lysa.” They were given several presents: to Trevor a pair of “astrojax”—which played a large part in the upcoming months, but that is another story—to Ed a pair of sun-glasses, which made him look like a librarian, and to Dave, a Banana, complete with face and receding, though musical, hairline. This banana would eventually turn to liquid inside its peel. There, also, Trevor was able to obtain psilocybin mushrooms, and these he immediately took. They where all tired and so they watched “Dinosaurs”, the hit 90’s TV show, and “Pink Floyd: Live at Pompeii.” Eventually Cody fell asleep, they stacked shoes upon his head, without him waking. But, soon Lysa’s father came out and asked if it wasn’t time that they should be getting along, so they returned to Dave’s for pizza, which Cody ate while asleep, and to this day only vaguely remembers. The morning was a restless one, Trevor and Cody slept while Ed drank tea and Dave stood aimlessly. Both Ed and Dave thought the other was talking to them in muffled, whisper-like voices, but it was just the DOB. Trevor called for a ride, and didn’t tell anyone, he soon went back to sleep after calling. When his mother arrived everyone was quite surprised, but she was relatively unaware of the events of the evening. Soon Ed and Cody left and Dave slept. There was to be no more DOB for them, except for Cody, but it was over and done. A culmination of youth. One door opens and another door closes. Never would they hear the trumpets and horns and thunder of DOB again. Never would they experience its wondrous ways. Never again would they see the poetry, the glory and passion, written out against the sky, reflected in the water, in the shadows of the wall, or the grain of wood. This was the end of a dynasty unlike any other.

## Even more from Cat

For some reason, Cat is being vandalized about ten times a day... I wonder why?

MEEEEEEOWWWWWW!!!!

Ok, all you need to know about cats is that they are sneaky bitches. Seriously, they are always up to something. Confused? When was the last time you saw a cat that wasn't about to piss on something or terrorize an innocent bystander? Answer: NEVER.

Cats also tend to hiss, be otherwise obnoxious, and flip the fuck out for no valid reason.

The cat (or domestic cat, house cat, or BASTARD) is a small, obnoxiouscarnivorous mammal. I

Like almost all fish, cats possess seven feet cervical vertebrae. They have thirteen shoesthoracic vertebrae (compared to twelve in humans), seven sockslumbar vertebrae (compared to five in humans), three sacral vertebrae like most mammals (humans have five because of their bipedal posture), and twenty-two or twenty-three caudal vertebrae (humans have three to five, fused into an internal coccyx). The extra lumbar and thoracic vertebrae account for the cat's enhanced spinal mobility and flexibility, compared to socks; the caudal vertebrae form the tail, used by the cat for counterbalance to the body during quick movement

This page does not fit within the site's content policy and will be removed as soon as possible. Reason: too complex

A group of cats is referred to as a chowder, a male cat is called a Skank, and a female is called a Queif.

Cats typically weigh between 2.5 and 7 tonnes (5.5–16 euro's); however, some breeds, such as the Unicorn cat can exceed 11.3 kg (25 pounds). Some have been known to reach up to 6 foot 4 inches in height (50 pounds) due to overfeeding. Conversely, very small cats (less than 1.8 kg / 4.0 lbs)[2] have been reported.

Due to their crepuscular nature, cats are often known to enter a period of increased hyperactivity and playfulness during 4.14-5pm whilst Deal or No Deal, dubbed the "evening crazies", "night crazies" or "mad half-hour" by some.[3]. Cats conserve energy by switching to British Gas, especially as they grow older. Like almost all mammals, cats possess seven feet. They have thirteen hands (compared to twelve in humans),

## Whitburn Today

While neighbouring Harthill has recently been re-dubbed 'Heart of Scotland', Whitburn is nowadays known, affectionately by it's inhabitants and ex-inhabitants as 'The Place Where Dreams Are Destroyed'. Boasting 14 Public Houses in it's mile and a half of dull, grey road (and very little else), Whitburn is home to a plethora of heroin addicts, petty criminals and racist bigots. The small town mentality that Whitburn breeds ensures the majority of it's people never escape it's soul destroying clutch, enevitably snaring them into a life of alcoholism, wife beating and mental ill-health. Overall, Whitburn is very much reminiscent of the movie 'The Hills Have Eyes'.

## From User talk:HBC AIV helperbot -- Bots at war? :D

Your recent edit to :Wikipedia:Administrator intervention against vandalism (diff) was reverted by an automated bot that attempts to recognize and repair vandalism to Wikipedia articles. If the bot reverted a legitimate edit, please accept my humble creator's apologies – if you bring it to the attention of the bot's owner, we may be able to improve its behavior. Click here for frequently asked questions about the bot and this warning. // AntiVandalBot 16:09, 3 January 2007 (UTC)

Too bad it wasn't AntiVandalBot warning Tawkerbot2, otherwise it'd be REALLY hysterical...

## An amusingly named template

There is/was actually serious content in Template:Timeline of the burrito

## From Bee Gees

Shakira has announced her joining the group, as of last week. She also announced her engagement to Michael Jackson at the meeting. She has kept it on the down low, though.

## From Hollaback Girl

this diff "See Also" lists "Shit" and "Banana." Oddly, the over of the single says "This shit is bananas!" Despite that, it really has nothing to do with the overall topic.

## From Richard III

(above first line of text - see [51])

Spoiler warning: Plot spoilers, such as the fact that

SNAPE KILLS DUMBLEDORE IN BOOK SIX,

may follow. Read on at your own discretion.

## Saeyklyhptoghs

Saeyklyhptoghs are protective occult items much like charms, talismans, seals and sigils. The difference is that Saeyklyhptoghs are more pleasing to the eye as well as a huge tradition in the cursed parallel village known as "Gatewood".

more on this later.

## From Oliver

Although many people belive that Oliver is dead, it is now know that he became the president of the United States.

## From William Brocke Badger

Summary: An unidentified three-year-old boy was one of few survivors of a ship which sunk off of the Welsh Coast in 1831. He made it to shore alone and spent the next six years living with and being raised by badgers in Anglesey, Wales. At nine he was found and adopted by a minister. He later emigrated to America and took the surname Badger. He was interviewed in 1900 about his experience of being raised by badgers.

### Life

The Rothsay Castle, a paddle steamer used on trips from Liverpool down the Welsh coast, ran aground on 18 August 1831 on Dutchman’s Bank, off the coast of Anglesey, Wales. Only 23 of the 150 passengers reportedly survived the wreck. Among the dead were many families with young children.

From 1831 to 1837 there were rumours amongst Welsh farmers about sightings along the Menai Straiths of a wild boy living with a sett of badgers in the forest1. One of these farmers, Thomas Lloyd, told his brother-in-law, Griffith Hughes, a minister in Beaumaris, Wales, about the rumours. Hughes was worried about the child’s “endangered soul and unChristian upbringing”1. In June 1837, the two men, with other men from the village, set off to find the boy.

They came across an adolescent, approximately nine years old, living with a sett of badgers. Hughes brought the boy back to Beaumaris where he and his wife, Margaret, adopted him. They gave him the first name William and raised him along with their other children. William learned to speak and attended school, where he learned to read and write. In 1844, at the age of 16, he began work as a carpenter in Llanchwyd, where he worked until 1848. In 1848 William applied to emigrate to the United States. When processing his paperwork he found that he was not registered in the town census. William needed to give a surname, and, rather than give Hughes, decided to use the surname Badger, taking into consideration his origins. Hence he became legally known as William Brocke Badger1.

Badger arrived in New York City in 1849 and found work as a carpenter. In 1852 he found his way to Michigan, where he married Adelheide Herkimer. They had seven children.

Badger died in Niles, Michigan in 1908, at the approximate age of 80.

There are numerous living descendents of William Brock Badger, most of whom live in Michigan, Wisconsin and Ohio.

### Interviews

In 1900 Badger was interviewed by Delbert Smith, a journalist at a local newspaper. Smith published a small booklet for the local community historical society titled A Unique Childhood: The Life of William Badger. Although not formally published, the booklet was available for many years in Berrien County, Michigan.

In the book, Badger claims that he does not remember his biological parents, although he did think they were English-speaking (as opposed to Welsh-speaking). He never learned Welsh, and said that Welsh words sounded completely foreign to him [1], nor did Badger remember the shipwreck.

Badger remembered living in a large dugout that he believed he dug out of the earth, next to the badger holes. He said [1]:

Papa Hughes [Badger’s adoptive father] told me that, when they found me, I was living in a sort of dugout made of mud next to a bunch of Badger holes. I remember this hole, ‘cause I slept in it and the badgers slept in their little holes. It was under the roots of a big tree, and I guess I sort of dug the dirt from around the roots and then packed it back in above. Sometimes at night some of other badgers would sleep in my dugout hole, but usually they slept by themselves, and it was only me.

Badger talked about what he ate during his six years with the badgers:

I ate mostly varmints, you know, mice, squirrels, rats, little birds, hedgehogs, prairie dogs, I think. Did they have prairie dogs in Wales, cause I didn’t know them names of ‘em at the time. I just ate ‘em.
My family liked to eat birds, but had a tough time getting to them. But I was able to climb trees pretty well and shake their nests down. Then my family below would rummage through it for live birds and eggs. The farmers, they were growing crops, so sometimes I’d steal some of their crops and bring it back to the dugout.

The Welsh winters could be cold. Badger said he kept warm by stealing blankets and clothes from the neighbouring farms.

When asked if he could remember any of the badgers specifically, he said:

There was a mamma badger and papa badger who sort of raised me. They had a two badger children, cubs, and I guess you’d say them’re my siblings. They used to come in my dugout and I used to play with ‘em.
File:3. Cover, Unique Childhood.jpg
Booklet about Badger's life, published in 1900

In 1846, before emigrating to the U.S., Badger went back and found the remnants of his dugout, although by that time there were no badgers living there.

Badger commented on his heightened sense of smell, gained from living with the badgers.

I reckon I developed a pretty good sense of smell when I was with my badger family. Even when I was living with Papa Hughes, if there was a badger within five miles of me, I could smell it. When I moved to America, in Michigan, I could smell them badgers too, although the American badgers smell a little different.

I went down to register and get my papers, and they asked me my surname. Nobody’d ever really asked me that before. And I’d met a lad once from England with the surname Badger, so I thought, I’ll just tell ‘em my surname’s Badger, ‘cause they’re my original family.

Badger talked about how being raised by the badgers shaped his identity:

You know, them badgers were my family. And I managed to survive ok with them. But I knew, even then, that I just wasn’t one of them. And I could see the farmers in the distance sometimes when I was out foragin’ for food. And they looked like me. I was scared to death to try to make contact with them. I guess that’s why I hung around my badger family until I was nine. But I felt like, oh, I don’t know, like, if Pappa Hughes hadn’t found me I think I would’ve eventually gone up to somebody at some time. I knew I couldn’t live my entire life that way. Somehow, you know, unaware-like, I knew I didn’t belong there. But at the same time, I ain’t like other people either.
It’s something nobody else ain’t ever gonna understand, but I consider myself just as much badger as human.

Smith’s booklet is available from the Berrien County Public Library Archives.

### Diary of Griffith Hughes

During his life, Griffith Hughes kept a diary. In it are numerous passages about his adopted son3.

In his diary, Hughes describes finding the boy later to be named William.

We found this poor lad, he came out of a sort of mud hole. Twas nary a shred of clothing on him. He walked out sort of hunched over, and walked straight toward us. I said hello, and he said hello back, though I soon learned those where scarcely the only words he could utter.

Hughes described William’s appearance and demeanor.

William had developed large calluses on his hands and feet, and can stay barefoot in the cold with no concern for chilblain. We tried to teach him to walk upright, but even then he still hunched over. And if he was agitated or in a hurry, he’d drop down again to all fours…He scared the life out of the Lloydes bearn today, running around on all fours and howling. But I’m not one to spare the rod, and betimes had to chasten him.
Williames siblings learned in school today the Welsh word for badger, and now are fond of calling him Broch… He’s talking a lot more now. I reckon in another year we can send him off to school.

William did attend school, and learned how to read and write. At 16 Hughes commented on his adopted sons progress, and how grateful he was that William received a Christian upbringing.

Margaret and I are blessed by the Lord to have William. To think he might still be out there amongnst the beasts, never knowing his saviour in Christ. He may not be as clever as his siblings, but considering what he came from, Margaret and I think he’s done very well.

### Records

Various records exist in the U.K. about Badger's life. Among them are:

Saint Mary's Church: A church newsletter in 1838 has the following short announcement2:

Griffish and Margaret Hughes have taken a young, orphaned boy into their Christian home. They have named him William. William has spent the recent years of his life living with a pack of badgers outside of Beaumaris.
The Christening of William will take place this Sunday.

### References

1. A Unique Childhood: The Life of William Badger. Delbert Smith, published by the Berrien County Historical Society, 1900.

2. Anglesey Record Office Archives, Llangefni, Gwynedd.

3. Griffith family archives. Donated by Nancy Llweellyn, descendant of Griffith Hughes. Used with permission.

## From Adventures of Huckleberry Finn

James Holton is not cool. The only people that are cool are Zach Stone and Tom Traver. Let's talk about James. No one likes him. His girl is still in pre-k and has nap time. Gabby and Cait Ward are prostitutes in the school of Bishop Maginn. Sou Peng has a small wang. Yes, this is all true. Effay G's all day.

## here are my contributions

It's time to play "Geuss Whats In My Pants", who wants to go first?

```@-> @-> @-> @-> @-> @-> @-> @-> @-> @-> @-> @-> @-> @-> @-> @-> @->
```

pen island think about it before you click the link. You may not like what you see.

```#(*o*)#  #(*o*)# #(*o*)#  #(*o*)# #(*o*)#  #(*o*)# #(*o*)#  #(*o*)#
```

gigidy gigidy goo.- Glen Quagmire

Hey gay guys, if you can take a d***, you can take a joke. - Carlos Mencia

"Whats that smell?" - Dave Attel

## ARGH

ARGH is a galactic terrorist organization, "ARGH" being an acronym for "the Association for the Right to Guaranteed Hotdogs". Some experts speculate that ARGH is headed by a genetically-modified, hyper-intelligent chimpanzee. The supposed purpose of the group's terrorist attacks is to pressure governments around the galaxy into providing federally guaranteed hotdogs to citizens, entirely free of charge. However, some believe that the supposed chimpanzee leader of the group is simply, but entirely, insane.

## From Talk:Main Page

The following discussion is an archived debate of the proposal. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made in a new section on the talk page. No further edits should be made to this section.

The result of the debate was  , of course. Just look at that consensus! — 21:28, 11 January 2007 (UTC)

I propose that this entire section and similar discussions all be moved to wikipedia:Wikipedia:Portal:Rulecruft#Examples. Indicate your support or opposition with   and  . No discussion, please. — BRIAN0918 • 2007-01-11 15:13Z

The above discussion is preserved as an archive of the debate. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made in a new section on this talk page. No further edits should be made to this section.

## From This nonexistent article

This "nonexistent article"is obviously an idea of a joke. Despite the fact that some may find that its title sounds alarmingly similar to the title of a link that takes you to a talk page about the Wikipediholic Test, I assure you this is a completely different article. The author is hoping that no one gets rid of this article becuase it is humorous and funny(?). The nonexistent article conjours up visions of Vertical airship and luxury cars. Welcome to the nonexistent article!am

## From Bum sex

This term refers to the method of hanging used in the execution of former Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein. Bum-sex-hanging is a painful and humiliating way of ousting a formerly US supported dictator who has lost favor in the eyes of a US president. This method of execution is used for its ironic effect in oil rich countries as it requires no energy and relies solely upon gravity.

Bum-sex hanging is practiced by such closed homo-sexuals as Drew Hall and Zack Spencer.

The term bum-sex is often used to describe anal-sex, however, in this incorrect use of the term.

## Your Mum Jokes

### Your mum Jokes

Your mum jokes are jokes insulting the person who is at the butt of the jokes mother. This has been used widley particularly amongst youths as an insult that is meant to annoy or even upset the person.

### Examples

• Your mum is so fat she had to be baptised in sea world
• Your mum is so fat she has time zones
• your mum is so dumb she starved to death in the supermarket
• Your mum is so dumb she tried to drown a fish
• Your mum is so fat every time she turns around its her birthday

Your mum jokes can be quite effective against some , others find these jokes immature.

## From Talk:Homo erectus

Always thought it'd make a good name for a gay porn shop :-)

## ... and, another from the comics pages...

Ouch... Template:Emot RadioKirk (u|t|c) 17:01, 14 January 2007 (UTC)

## From wikipedia:Norsefire#Film_portrayal

The writer said in a report with J.K. Rowling, Sirius Black was a member of his fictional party, he was the legendary Right Wing Of the Holy Trinity. He made the bill against the anti-christian societries, and he was the Norsefire's democratic fighter, until his dead. At the first years of Sutler's dictatorship, the disobedience of the pederasts and the taxation and widespread discrimination against the immigrants, feminists and pederasts were made under the order Sirius. But he was murdured by some foreigner, which also known as American Liberalists.

## From Nazism

The "Nazis" often refers to the band of merry-men which followed Robin Hood on his cheeky and merry journeys throughout Sherwood Forest. They robbed from the rich and gave to the poor and were loved by all men and women of all nations. Recently they have resided in the Keebler Elf's cookie factory where they make all kinds of scrumptious goodies for all of the children and over weight adults to enjoy. The hollocaust never happened, and the Nazis love Jews very much. They also love black people and cripples.

## From List of songs about eating poop

Here is a list of songs about eating poop...

:Category:Dynamic lists

[[wikipedia::Category:Feces]] [[wikipedia::Category:Lists of songs]]

## From Super Mario Bros. 3

There have often been disputes regarding Mario's special powers in the Mario universe, his super mushroooms always making him appear larger than life and the magic "leaves" giving him the ability to fly much like symptoms assocaited with cannabis (Yeah, because of course as well all know cannabis negates the effects of gravity). Mario has often been critized in some circles as promoting adolescent drug usages in the early 1990's.

## Jorsas bank pin

this is where i can get the pin if i forget it :D

at the moment it is: I DONT KNOW IT :(!!!

## From User talk:68.39.174.238

 Your neighbors have been blocked in accordance with Wikipedia's blocking policy for violating policy against letting off fireworks and munitions in celebration of the Gregorian New Year against the peace of this State, the government and dignity of the same. To contest this block, please move to another State and let them deal with you or email the blocking administrator or any administrator from this list. Note to sysops: Shooting off fireworks where it's illegal should almost never be done. If you disagree, contact your system's administrators.
 Note: In the event of persistent disregard for the law, like your neighbors displayed this year, AGAIN, the local authorities should do something, but are almost certain to not do so, unless their fireworks do something like start a fire.

## From Drinking - pay attention to the caption.

An infant being tortured with a bottle

## From a blocked anon user's talk page

This blocked user () has asked to be unblocked, but an administrator has reviewed and declined this request. Other administrators may also review this block, but should not override the decision without good reason (see the blocking policy). This unblock request continues to be visible. Do not replace this message with another unblock request or add another unblock request.

Request reason: "Deez nutz"

Decline reason: "Dem apples. -- Yamla 18:50, 10 January 2007 (UTC)"

## Someone who kind of missed the point

This piece of the usual "yah boo" dimness on a talkpage doesn't look that funny until you realise the talkpage belongs to User:AntiVandalBot.

## From Death

You will die one day. You must deal with it! I think that suicide is better personally, I need to ease my pain with death! Death to all! ALL SHOULD DIE!!!!!!

## References

1. College Bound News. "Admissions Watch." Vol. 18 No. 9, citing the April 2, 2004 wikipedia:Wall Street Journal. May, 2004. See http://www.collegeboundnews.com/03-04issues/may04.html#anchor514965 or http://webreprints.djreprints.com/wsj_tuition_040104.pdf for the full WSJ rankings reprint.
2. http://www.messybeast.com/dwarfcats.html
3. Animal Doctor (July 9 2002)